Author: Anonymous Page 121

It's got lots of installation.

Appearance Clothing Malaprops

Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

Definitions Marriage

“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.

Tom Swifties

“Oops, I’ve ripped my pants!” was Tom’s unseemly comment.

Tom Swifties

Harder’n baptizing a cat.

Expressions

Vacuum Cleaner: A sonic broom.

Definitions Things

Vice: A function to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.

Definitions

Strapless Gown: A compromise between the law of decency and the law of gravity.

Clothing Definitions

We’ll do this individually as a group.

Mixed metaphors

Trombones: Bones in an orchestra.

Definitions

I’m still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

Beliefs Opinion

If you know you don't know much, you are smarter than most people.

Intelligence

Rejoinder: Married his ex.

Definitions Marriage

Anoint: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Definitions

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

Flatterer: One who says things to your face that he wouldn’t say behind your back.

Definitions

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common… they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Government Politicians

When it comes to giving—some people stop at nothing.

Characteristics Money People

Whistle: Wind having a narrow escape.

Definitions

It's as American as killing two birds with one apple pie.

Mixed metaphors

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Conflict Marriage War