Author: Anonymous Page 122

Vasectomy: Spoil the rod… spare the child.

Definitions

Hot Pants: Breeches of promise.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

“I’ll take that”, said Tom appropriately.

Tom Swifties

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Sex

He's got too many oars in the fire.

Misspokements

Hors d'oeuvres: A sandwich cut into 20 pieces.

Definitions Food/Drink

“I was absolutely vitrified,” said Tom with a glazed look.

Tom Swifties

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

Let's make sure we're all talking off the same sheet of music.

Mixed metaphors

Debts: The certain outcome of an uncertain income.

Definitions Money

We're going to get locked into a corner.

Mixed metaphors

Yearbook: A book of pictures that get nerdier with time.

Definitions

“I’m on the green,” Tom lied.

Tom Swifties

“I used to command a battalion of German ants,” said Tom exuberantly.

Tom Swifties

That politician is so crooked he can hide behind a corkscrew.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Admiral: A general at sea.

Definitions Military

Amateur: One who is always willing to give you the benefit of his inexperience

People

“I had an accident in the kitchen,” said Tom with panache.

Tom Swifties

Hypochondria is the one disease I haven’t got.

Health

Chivalry: A man’s inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

Definitions