Author: Anonymous Page 122

Good Neighbor: One who doesn’t borrow his garden hose back too often.

Definitions

Inside every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out.

Books Communication

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

Definitions Food/Drink

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Situations

She wears her heart up her sleeve.

Mixed metaphors

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

One way to get a real kick out of bridge is to sit opposite your wife.

Activities Games

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law

“I have lost all my Hungarian sheet music,” said Tom listlessly.

Tom Swifties

“Come up to my apartment,” Tom said flatly.

Tom Swifties

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Housework Work

“It’s freezing,” Tom muttered icily.

Tom Swifties

Character: What you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.

Definitions

Hook: Irritating but highly reliable device used to quickly locate the position of one’s thumb at the bottom of a tackle box.

Activities Definitions

But I don't have an intricate relationship with it.

Malaprops

Gossip: Anything that goes in one ear and over the back fence.

Communication Definitions Speech

War without France would be like… World War II.

Conflict Places War

It was so cold… flashers were just describing themselves.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

90% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Government Law Lawyers

Spanking: To impress upon the mind from the bottom up.

Definitions