Author: Anonymous Page 123

“Nobody has scored yet in the tennis game,” said Tom lovingly.

Tom Swifties

Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that hey cannot separately plunder a third.

Definitions Politics

Silence: True wisdom’s best reply.

Definitions Wisdom

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Golf Sports

“The pool player from USC had to drop out because the proper equipment didn’t arrive on time,” Tom calculated.

Tom Swifties

Horse: An oatsmobile.

Animals Definitions

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Problems Situations

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir.

Definitions

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Characteristics Communication Lies

The history of the aquatics center shows… that the games’ organizers seem to be willing to spend money like water.

Mixed metaphors

Spanking: Stern punishment.

Definitions

Parents: One of the hardships of a minor’s life.

Definitions Family Parents

Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.

Definitions Places

I'd walk a mile in a camel's shoes to pass through the eye of a needle.

Mixed metaphors

Shoplifting: Free enterprise.

Conflict Crime Definitions

Is this a whole nother bucket of worms?

Mixed metaphors

I thought she had persisted from corresponding with him.

Malaprops

District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.

Definitions Places

Architects: People who now have to measure their patrons for the breakfast nook.

Definitions Occupations

 “Your Honor, you’re crazy!” said Tom judgmentally.

Tom Swifties

Prejudice: A great time-saver that enables one to form opinions without bothering to get the facts.

Definitions