Author: Anonymous Page 124

If wishes were horses, some folks would need a lot of hay.

Miscellaneous

Clichés: Fixtures of speech.

Definitions Language

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Characteristics Definitions

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

Communication Conversation Entertainment Speech

“I can no longer hear anything,” said Tom deftly.

Tom Swifties

“Would you like some soda?” asked Tom caustically.

Tom Swifties

Misconception: A pregnancy occurring while taking birth control pills.

Definitions

“That just doesn’t add up,” said Tom, nonplussed.

Tom Swifties

Heredity: The bad traits a child gets from the other side of the family.

Definitions Family

This is an awfully big elephant to eat.

Mixed metaphors

Patron: A customer who doesn't ask prices.

Definitions

Voting: A process of standing in line for the opportunity to help decide which party will spend your money.

Definitions

We raised it to new depths.

Mixed metaphors

The ambition of every small boy is to wash his mother’s ears.

Children Family

“I couldn’t believe there were 527,986 bees in the swarm!” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties

I can't answer that – it's out of my water.

Mixed metaphors

He is so stupid… he got fired from an M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Executive: A person who can take two hours for lunch without anybody missing him.

Definitions Occupations

… one says to the other her mum had a cyst on on her aviary.

Health Malaprops

Expert: A person who knows enough to complicate simple matters.

Definitions

From that book suppository building…

Malaprops