Author: Anonymous Page 124

Oaf: An old fashioned jerk.

Definitions People

Igloo: An icicle built for two.

Definitions

The squeeky wheel gets the worm.

Mixed metaphors

Don’t cast swine before bears.

Mixed metaphors

“Pass me the shellfish,” said Tom crabbily.

Tom Swifties

We have to get all our ducks on the same page.

Mixed metaphors

He received a decease and desist order.

Malaprops

Beer… so much more than just a breakfast drink.

Beer Food/Drink

B-Negative: A pessimist’s blood type.

Definitions

The first known case of a rat joining a sinking ship.

Insults

He breathes through his nose to keep from wearing out his teeth.

Expressions Frugal

[a rock group’s] authenticity strikes a chord with fans.

Mixed metaphors

Ventriloquist: A man who never speaks for himself.

Communication Definitions Speech

“I can’t be bothered,” said Tom carelessly.

Tom Swifties

“That’s nothing!” said Tom naughtily.

Tom Swifties

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

Body Cold Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations

“I think we were cheated,” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties

Keep your eyes pierced, it's got to be around here somewhere.

Malaprops

“Emily has put on weight,” said Tom emphatically.

Tom Swifties

Acrimony: The holy state of being married.

Definitions Marriage

Fashion: A make-work program to get women to buy new clothes for no real reason before the old clothes wear out.

Appearance Clothing Definitions