Author: Anonymous Page 126

Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to avoid quitting.

Definitions Work

As useless as a pocket on a cow

Expressions

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

Fools Intelligence People

“This looks like the fruit of the blackthorn,” said Tom slowly.

Tom Swifties

He's the pineapple of politeness.

Malaprops

I’d sooner be in hell with my back broke.

Expressions Situations

Canada is like your attic, you forget that it's up there, but when you go, it's like "Oh man, look at all this great stuff!"

Canada Places

Leftovers: Repast history.

Definitions Food/Drink

He lies so bad he hires somebody to call his dogs.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Lies

Wound up tighter than an eight-day clock

Expressions

They think they can do the portrait in one setting.

Malaprops

A wink is as good as a nod, to a blind horse.

Expressions

You can dish it out, but you can't take it with you.

Mixed metaphors

Brute Force: When your brain doesn’t work, just keep beating on the problem until one of you dies.

Definitions

That man is a real charmer, a regular Don Coyote.

Malaprops People

Experience: Something you don’t get until just after you needed it.

Definitions

Husband: One who stands by you in troubles you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t married him.

Definitions Marriage

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

Cut the biblical cord.

Malaprops

An Englishman considers himself a self-made man, and thereby relieves the Almighty of a dreadful responsibility.

England People Places

“The doctor had to remove a bone from my arm,” said Tom humorlessly.

Tom Swifties