Author: Anonymous Page 126

Charity begins at home… at about 6:30, when they call you and interrupt your dinner.

Characteristics

Statesman: A politician who is held upright by equal pressure from all directions.

Definitions Politicians

Accordionated: Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Definitions Wordplay

You continue to cloudy the water.

Mixed metaphors

There's many a pessimist who got that way by financing an optimist.

Characteristics Money

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

Rugby: A game played by gentlemen with odd-shaped balls.

Definitions Sports

Gifted Children: Unfortunate tykes who lack the good sense to hide their talents from overly ambitious parents.

Definitions Family

The whole can of wax

Mixed metaphors

Fanatic: One who, having lost sight of his goal, redoubles his efforts.

Definitions People

Earthquake: A topographical error.

Definitions

“I just came in through the door,” said Tom, entranced.

Tom Swifties

It's time to grab the bull by the tail and look it in the eye.

Mixed metaphors

The record cover was a blank slate in 1939 at Columbia Records.

Mixed metaphors

He was a man of great statue.

Appearance Body Malaprops

“I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,” said Tom heartlessly.

Tom Swifties

This is no longer just a bubbling brook.

Malaprops

Don’t bite the hand that looks dirty.

Mixed metaphors

“I’d like to make a toast,” Tom said warmly.

Tom Swifties

Work: An unpopular way to earn money.

Definitions Work

Out of the mouths of babes comes cereal.

Children Family Wordplay