Author: Anonymous Page 128

He was as mad as a mule chewin' on bumblebees!

Miscellaneous

Hotter than a depot stove

Expressions Science/Weather

What comes around, is all around.

Malaprops

If wishes were horses, some folks would need a lot of hay.

Miscellaneous

Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.

Communication Definitions Science/Weather

“Phew! I’ve just finished learning all Shakespeare’s works,” said Tom willfully.

Tom Swifties

Sometimes they bite the farm.

Mixed metaphors

Have no delusions about the past.

Malaprops

“Some you lose,” said Tom winsomely.

Tom Swifties

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

Narcissist: Psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst.

Definitions People Self

Antiques: Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.

Definitions Things

Great Timesaver: Love at first sight.

Definitions

When making picture frames, you’ll need a Midas box, so you can cut the angle right.

Malaprops

A veritable land mine of valuable information.

Malaprops

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law

Old Age: When you don’t recognize either the host or the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

Age Definitions

Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work

“Hurry up and get to the back of the ship!” Tom said sternly.

Tom Swifties

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

It’s time to step up to the plate and lay your cards on the table.

Mixed metaphors