Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 13
Adolescence: A period in which children begin to question the answers.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Adolescence
Work: An unpopular way to earn money.
Anonymous
Definitions
Work
There is no
pancreas
to the whole world's problems.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Panacea
Domestic Harmony: Music produced only if the husband plays second fiddle.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Domestic Harmony
Cartoon: What’s sung when driving your car.
Anonymous
Definitions
Cartoon
“It’s time for the second funeral,” Tom rehearsed.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
It’s better to have half a cake and eat it and enjoy it, than not to have any cake at all.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Reunion: When you meet people your own age who all look a lot older than you.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Reunion
Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.
Anonymous
Definitions
Music
Classical Jazz
“No, I won’t give you a note saying you’re excused,” said Tom unwaveringly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
We are just scratching the tip of the iceberg.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
An argument is a question with two sides and no end.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Communication
Argument
My husband was chosen as a
wheelbarrow
for his friend's funeral.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Pallbearer
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Anonymous
Definitions
Politicians
Abstract Art: The proof that things are not as bad as they are painted to be.
Anonymous
Art
Definitions
Entertainment
Abstract art
I’m so hungry I could beat a dead horse.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Hunger
Sex: The formula by which one and one makes three.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sex
“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Places
Zoo
Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.
Anonymous
Definitions
Cannibal
Diet Planner: A fast talker.
Anonymous
Definitions
Diet Planner
Page 13 of 161
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