Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 13
Boomerang: A working model of poetic justice.
Anonymous
Things
Boomerang
If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50–50 it will.
Anonymous
Situations
Odds
Center Of Mass: The Priest.
Anonymous
Definitions
Center Of Mass
Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
Honesty
Lies
Legend
Agnostic: A person who says that he knows nothing about God and, when you agree with him, he becomes angry.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
God
Agnostic
Is this a whole nother bucket of worms?
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Don't beat a dead horse in the mouth.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Anonymous
Food/Drink
Money
Success
Neighbors: The only people who listen to both sides of an argument.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Neighbors
Let’s start at square zero.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Nepotism: A form of favoritism – relatively speaking.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Nepotism
“Who is this Tom Swifty character anyway?” asked Tom unselfconsciously.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Good to be back on the old
terracotta.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Terra firma
Consult: To seek another’s approval of a course already decided upon.
Anonymous
Definitions
Consult
What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
Anonymous
Uncategorized
Odds
Upgraded: Didn't work the first time.
Anonymous
Definitions
Situations
Upgraded
“I can see through the window,” said Tom stiltedly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I know which boyd gets the woym,” said Tom in an oily voice.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.
Anonymous
Definitions
Budget
e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
e-mail
He is so ugly… his doctor is a vet.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Ugly
Page 13 of 161
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