Author: Anonymous Page 13

After-Dinner Speaker: A person who only has a few words to say, but seldom stops when he has said them.

Definitions

Infant Prodigies: Young people with highly imaginative parents.

Children Definitions Family

If she was cast as Lady Godiva the horse would steal the show.

Acting Entertainment Insults

That's the pot calling the kettle's bluff.

Mixed metaphors

There are lots of reasons to love a horse, sometime it's no more than the sweet little way he stepped on some asshole's foot.

Animals

She raped him in a blanket.

Malaprops Situations

Bowling: Marbles for grown-ups.

Activities Definitions

“Who goes there!” the soldier called out haltingly.

Tom Swifties

Window Screen: A device for keeping flies in the house.

Definitions Things

Prejudiced people are all alike.

Characteristics People

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

Characteristics God Life

It will be music to your wallet.

Mixed metaphors

… create a little dysentery in the ranks.

Malaprops

“Would you stop horsing around!” yelled Tom woefully.

Tom Swifties

Heredity: What a man believes in until his son begins to behave like a delinquent.

Definitions Family

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

“I’ve transferred my money back into a German bank account,” Tom remarked with interest.

Tom Swifties

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Definitions Wordplay

Teenagers: People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike.

Age Definitions

I dozed in and off.

Mixed metaphors

Half the people you know are below average.

Characteristics People