Author: Anonymous Page 13

The less a person knows, the more he wants to tell it.

Fools Intelligence

“I have no underwear,” Tom said expansively.

Tom Swifties

I know who turned off the lights,” Tom hinted darkly.

Tom Swifties

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Definitions Money

Twins: Womb-mates.

Definitions

On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.

Misspokements

It ain't a pretty sight for the ears.

Mixed metaphors

Adam’s Rib: The original bone of contention.

Definitions

“2 bdrm furn w 5 appl”, said Tom aptly.

Tom Swifties

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Autos Intelligence Stupidity Things

Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.

Intelligence Memory Wisdom

I won’t miss it one aorta!

Malaprops

“No ellipses, parabolas or hyperbolas,” said Tom laconically.

Tom Swifties

Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.

Clothing Definitions

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

Alcohol Food/Drink Life

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

“Melinda broke my heart,” Tom said half-heartedly.

Tom Swifties

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

Appearance Body People Women

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.

Definitions Marriage

The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about.

Beliefs Children Family Intelligence Opinion

Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

Men People