Author: Anonymous Page 13

Boomerang: A working model of poetic justice.

Things

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50–50 it will.

Situations

Center Of Mass: The Priest.

Definitions

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies

Agnostic: A person who says that he knows nothing about God and, when you agree with him, he becomes angry.

Beliefs Definitions God

Is this a whole nother bucket of worms?

Mixed metaphors

Don't beat a dead horse in the mouth.

Mixed metaphors

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Food/Drink Money Success

Neighbors: The only people who listen to both sides of an argument.

Definitions People

Let’s start at square zero.

Mixed metaphors

Nepotism: A form of favoritism – relatively speaking.

Definitions Family

“Who is this Tom Swifty character anyway?” asked Tom unselfconsciously.

Tom Swifties

Good to be back on the old terracotta.

Malaprops

Consult: To seek another’s approval of a course already decided upon.

Definitions

What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?

Uncategorized

Upgraded: Didn't work the first time.

Definitions Situations

“I can see through the window,” said Tom stiltedly.

Tom Swifties

“I know which boyd gets the woym,” said Tom in an oily voice.

Tom Swifties

Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.

Definitions

e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.

Communication Definitions

He is so ugly… his doctor is a vet.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly