Author: Anonymous Page 13

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Appearance Body Language

Fiddling with his guitar

Mixed metaphors

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once.

Definitions Politicians Problems

It sticks out like a sore throat.

Mixed metaphors

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

Health

It sounds good on paper.

Ideas Intelligence Mixed metaphors

Well, thats as clear as a bull in a china shop.

Mixed metaphors

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look “like a tramp.”

Appearance Definitions

She is so ugly… she has to trick or treat over the phone.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Faster than a dog's tail in a meat market.

Expressions Time

Tact: The ability to arrive at conclusions without expressing them.

Definitions

They'll never buy the cow if they can get the eggs for free.

Mixed metaphors

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

Characteristics Intelligence

“We must hurry,” said Tom Swiftly.

Tom Swifties

Vasectomy: Never having to say you’re sorry.

Definitions

Insanity: Knowing that what you’re doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can’t stop it.

Definitions

It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

Beliefs People Religion Sex

I’m just talking out loud.

Mixed metaphors

Egotist: A person of low taste more interested in himself than in me.

Definitions

He don’t have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of.

Miscellaneous

Ventriloquist: A man who never speaks for himself.

Communication Definitions Speech