Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Thursday, April 3, 2025
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Anonymous Page 13
The less a person knows, the more he wants to tell it.
Anonymous
Fools
Intelligence
Knowledge
“I have no underwear,” Tom said expansively.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
I know who turned off the lights,” Tom hinted darkly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.
Anonymous
Definitions
Money
Debt
Twins: Womb-mates.
Anonymous
Definitions
Twins
On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.
Anonymous
Misspokements
Indecision
Oxymorons
It ain't a pretty sight for the ears.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Adam’s Rib: The original bone of contention.
Anonymous
Definitions
Adam’s Rib
“2 bdrm furn w 5 appl”, said Tom aptly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
Anonymous
Autos
Intelligence
Stupidity
Things
Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.
Anonymous
Intelligence
Memory
Wisdom
I won’t miss it one
aorta!
Anonymous
Malaprops
Iota
“No ellipses, parabolas or hyperbolas,” said Tom laconically.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.
Anonymous
Clothing
Definitions
Hamper
Life is too short to drink cheap beer.
Anonymous
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Life
Cheap beer
Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
Anonymous
Definitions
Discretion
“Melinda broke my heart,” Tom said half-heartedly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
People
Women
Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Children
Family
Intelligence
Opinion
Advice
Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Anonymous
Men
People
Testicles
Tires
Trouble
Woman's Rule of Thumb
Page 13 of 161
« First
« Previous
11
12
13
14
15
Next »
Last »