Author: Anonymous Page 130

What a terrible cat's after me!

Malaprops

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are.

Definitions Family People

Bore: A person who takes his time taking your time.

Definitions

Honesty: The fear of being caught.

Characteristics Definitions

Inertia: Tendency of a skier’s body to resist changes in direction or speed due to the action of Newton’s First Law of Motion.

Definitions Science/Weather

Tabloid: A screamlined newspaper.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Inhibition: Being tied up in nots.

Definitions

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the rider.

Expressions Food/Drink

Everybody and his dog was there.

Expressions People

Vegetable: A substance used to ballast a child’s plate while it’s carried to and from the table.

Definitions Food/Drink

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Appearance Body Fat

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

The writing is on the wall for bookshops.

Mixed metaphors

It was so cold… we had lunch at the "Greasy Spoon" – just for the heartburn.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

“I have three houses, and I’m going to buy another,” said Tom forebodingly.

Tom Swifties

I wouldn't buy your book if you gave it to me.

Misspokements Reviews/Criticism

Credit: A commodity that becomes better the less it is used.

Definitions

“I’ve never had a car accident,” said Tom recklessly.

Tom Swifties

Up a tree without a paddle

Mixed metaphors

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Murphy’s Laws

Grass: The green stuff that wilts in the yard and flourishes in the garden.

Definitions