Author: Anonymous Page 131

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Emotions Intelligence Laughter Thinking

… prostate with grief

Malaprops

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea.

Age Ideas

Bridge is the only game that bruises more shins than hockey.

Activities Games

Those people all corregated over there.

Malaprops

Summer Camps: Those places where little boys go for mother’s vacation.

Activities Definitions

Bride: A gal who puts her foot down as soon as her new husband has carried her over the threshold.

Definitions Marriage Wives

A falling nozzle will turn toward you and land on its trigger.

Problems Things

If he fell into a pile of horse shit, he’d start looking for a pony.

Characteristics Expressions

It's like a wizard in sheep's clothing.

Mixed metaphors

I invented a new word – “plagiarism.”

Communication Language Wordplay

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Things

Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

Success Work

The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but you still have to mow it.

Situations

You hit the nail on the dot.

Mixed metaphors

It's got lots of installation.

Appearance Clothing Malaprops

Puritan: A person who pours righteous indignation into the wrong things.

Definitions

When your head is in the bear's mouth, it is not the time to be smacking him on the nose.

Communication Problems

I've been getting the corpse ahead of the hearse most of my life.

Mixed metaphors

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

That'll stick out like a red herring.

Mixed metaphors