Author: Anonymous Page 133

“It’s the quotient of two integers,” said Tom rationally.

Tom Swifties

“Parsley, sage, rosemary,” said Tom timelessly.

Tom Swifties

Adverse: Promotional jingle.

Definitions

Always remember: golf clubs don’t float.

Golf Sports

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

Definitions Happiness Intelligence

Teacher: A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

Children Definitions Education

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

VD: The gift that keeps on giving.

Definitions Health

Smilin’ like a goat in a briarpatch

Appearance Expressions

Absence makes a long story short.

Mixed metaphors

Life: A play with a lousy third act.

Definitions Life

Creativity: The sudden cessation of stupidity.

Definitions Intelligence

The most dangerous killer in the animals of crime.

Malaprops

“All right – we’ll use a water solution”, Tom acquiesced.

Tom Swifties

Divorce: Going through a change of wife.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

Whistle: Wind having a narrow escape.

Definitions

You've gotta stick your neck out on a limb sometimes.

Mixed metaphors

No two people in a car can agree on which window should be open… and how much.

Autos Things

Long road to hoe.

Mixed metaphors

Alcatraz: A pen with a lifetime guarantee.

Definitions Wordplay

Kleenex: Your daily nose-paper.

Definitions