Author: Anonymous Page 133

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Communication Wordplay

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People

Gourmet: A food fetishist.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations

“I’m a broken man,” Tom cracked.

Tom Swifties

Christmas: A warm, cheery two-month festival that celebrates the joy of retail merchandise.

Definitions

Idiot: A man who sees your point in an argument but refuses to see your way.

Definitions Intelligence

“I pulled a hamstring,” said Tom limply.

Tom Swifties

Castration: A eunuch experience.

Definitions Wordplay

Lawsuit: A contest generally won by the party that can afford to reimburse the lawyers on both sides of the dispute.

Definitions Law Lawyers

Life: A sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.

Definitions Life

He is so ugly… his doctor is a vet.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

Definitions Happiness Intelligence

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

Appearance Body People Women

“I’m concerned about the number of people not attending,” said Tom absentmindedly.

Tom Swifties

Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.

Definitions

A well-adjusted man is one who can play golf as if it were a game.

Golf Sports

Lecher: A stud with liver spots.

Definitions

The [outdoor] sculpture park has opened its doors for the summer.

Mixed metaphors

Bigamist: A man who keeps two himself.

Definitions Marriage

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Definitions

Bay: A body of water surrounded by restaurants.

Definitions Places