Author: Anonymous Page 134

What a terrible cat's after me!

Malaprops

Stroke-Of-Luck: Hole-in-One.

Definitions Golf Sports

It will have a special time on our plate.

Misspokements

Make like a tree and head out.

Mixed metaphors

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Definitions Occupations

Voting: A process of standing in line for the opportunity to help decide which party will spend your money.

Definitions

Epitaph: A monumental lie.

Death Definitions

“Are you all governors?” Tom asked, bored.

Tom Swifties

Diet: selection of foods for people who are thick and tired of it.

Definitions Food/Drink

Kiss: What the child gets free, the young man steals, and the old man buys.

Definitions

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

Definitions Lawyers

Take time to stop and smell the tunnel at the end of the rainbow.

Mixed metaphors

I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole.

Mixed metaphors

“I teach economics at the university,” Tom professed.

Tom Swifties

“Nobody has scored yet in the tennis game,” said Tom lovingly.

Tom Swifties

Close the barn door after you've led the horse to water.

Mixed metaphors

Bay: A body of water surrounded by restaurants.

Definitions Places

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

People

Prophylactic: A rubber check.

Definitions

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

Situations

Saint: A dead sinner, revised and edited.

Definitions People