Author: Anonymous Page 134

She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Diamond: A woman’s idea of a stepping stone to success.

Definitions Things

The light at the end of the tunnel is only muzzle flash.

Mixed metaphors

“My bicycle wheel is melting,” Tom spoke softly.

Tom Swifties

Our organization really frowns down on that.

Mixed metaphors

I'm going to the store to buy a soup latrine.

Malaprops

I shot the wind out of his saddle.

Mixed metaphors

Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.

Definitions

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

“This blood-sucking insect likes French cheese,” said Tom briefly.

Tom Swifties

I resemble that remark!

Malaprops

Faster than a dog's tail in a meat market.

Expressions Time

My girlfriend says that she thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover, but she hasn’t been able to catch him at it!

Marriage Sex

It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

“This tooth extraction could take for ever,” said Tom with infinite wisdom.

Tom Swifties

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

Definitions Food/Drink

The philosophy exam was a piece of cake… which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

Education School

Women: Can't live with 'em – can't live with 'em.

People Women

He’s a bad influenza on me.

Malaprops

“You must be my host,” Tom guessed.

Tom Swifties

The squeeky wheel gets the worm.

Mixed metaphors