Author: Anonymous Page 135

Lecher: A stud with liver spots.

Definitions

Moss never grows on a fish out of water.

Mixed metaphors

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

Ambassador: An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.

Definitions

Anatomy: Something that everyone has, but it looks better on a girl.

Appearance Body Definitions

“I make the armor out of chain links,” Tom replied by mail.

Tom Swifties

Close the barn door after you've led the horse to water.

Mixed metaphors

Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

Definitions Places

Hey, watch this!

Death Definitions Last words

Business: Something which, if you don’t have any, you go out of.

Definitions

I'm tired of walking on kid gloves.

Mixed metaphors

There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.

Communication Health Language

Youth: That brief period, as distinguished from childhood or middle age, when the sexes talk to each other at a party.

Age Definitions People Young

It’s the best thing since sliced Spam.

Mixed metaphors

Professor: A person whose job is to tell students how to solve the problems of life he avoided by becoming a professor.

Definitions Education

“Now I can do some painting,” said Tom easily.

Tom Swifties

“That city will never be rebuilt,” the prophets babble on.


Tom Swifties

Quickie: No sooner spread than done.

Definitions Sex

“Dorothy, if you’re going to Oz again, I’m going with you,” Em barked.

Tom Swifties

Advertising: That which makes you think you’ve longed all your life for something you never even heard of.

Communication Definitions

The fights you avoid do you far more good than the ones you will win.

Conflict Fights Proverbs