Author: Anonymous Page 135

“I’m on the green,” Tom lied.

Tom Swifties

Ventriloquist: A man who never speaks for himself.

Communication Definitions Speech

Easy Payments: The ones that are easier said than done.

Definitions

Travel Brochure: A trip teaser.

Definitions

I'm flying by the edge of my seat.

Misspokements

Hospital: A place where people who are run down wind up..

Definitions

“Now I can do some painting,” said Tom easily.

Tom Swifties

Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.

Animals Definitions Dogs

She's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile.

Characteristics Malaprops

Keep a stiff upper chin.

Mixed metaphors

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Animals Definitions Places

I'm sweating like a bullet.

Mixed metaphors

Don't do the crime if you can't get out the kitchen.

Mixed metaphors

Bored: To attend meetings.

Definitions

Diet: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.

Definitions Food/Drink

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.

Alcohol Food/Drink People

“Let’s sort this out,” Tom ordered.

Tom Swifties

“Congratulations; you graduated,” said Tom diplomatically.

Tom Swifties

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Fashion: Something that goes out of style as soon as most people have one.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Anoint: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Definitions