Author: Anonymous Page 136

Cold War: Hot peace.

Conflict Definitions

We are beating a dead drum.

Mixed metaphors

Tolerance: Another word for indifference.

Characteristics Definitions

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

The bottom line boils down to…

Mixed metaphors

The guy just couldn’t cut the custard.

Mixed metaphors

… quicker than any other slowdowns

Mixed metaphors

Gardening: Man’s effort to improve his lot.

Activities Definitions

Men… you can’t live with them… you don’t have to.

Men People

“I’m putting on my T-shirt, shorts, and sunglasses,” Tom summarized.

Tom Swifties

Flatterer: one who says things to your face that he wouldn’t say behind your back.

Characteristics Communication People Speech

Skiing may be a winter activity, but some think of it as a fall sport.

Sports Wordplay

Motherhood: If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.

Definitions

“A spirit transported me from the couch to the chair,” said Tom, visibly moved.

Tom Swifties

Igloo: An icicle built for two.

Definitions

Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.

Definitions

You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape; if it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40, if it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.

Things

Collection: A church function in which many take but a passing interest.

Definitions

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Definitions Family

“Boy, will I give you a haircut!” said Tom barbarously.

Tom Swifties

Vacuum Cleaner: A sonic broom.

Definitions Things