Author: Anonymous Page 138

”..,” said Tom blankly.

Tom Swifties

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

English Channel: The BBC.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Statesman: A politician who is held upright by equal pressure from all directions.

Definitions Politicians

Congress: A body of men brought together to slow down the government.

Congress Definitions Government

I spent all my money on a FAX machine; now I can only FAX collect.

Money Things

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy; one is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

Emotions Happiness Marriage Wives

Men are like chocolate bars: sweet, smooth, and heading straight for your hips.

Food/Drink Men People

I sink, therefore I swam.

Activities Communication Wordplay

 “My parents are called Billy and Nanny,” Tom kidded.

Tom Swifties

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Miscellaneous

We will burn that horse when we get there.

Mixed metaphors

Maps: The shorthand of geography.

Definitions

Admiral: A general at sea.

Definitions Military

I know who turned off the lights,” Tom hinted darkly.

Tom Swifties

Ultimatum: In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.

Definitions

Brute Force: When your brain doesn’t work, just keep beating on the problem until one of you dies.

Definitions

Reform: To gain or lose weight.

Appearance Body Definitions

Chance: The pseudonym of God when he does not want to sign.

Definitions

He’s still green behind the ears.

Mixed metaphors

A plastic surgeon increases your face value.

Appearance