Author: Anonymous Page 138

Diet: What helps a person gain weight more slowly.

Definitions Food/Drink

… having too much collateral in your blood.

Health Malaprops

Etiquette: A convenient code of conduct which makes lying a virtue and snobbishness a righteous deed.

Definitions

An allowance is what you pay your children to live with you.

Children Definitions Family

Small Town: A place where everybody knows the troubles you’ve seen.

Definitions Places

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

“Don’t you love sleeping outdoors,” Tom said intently.

Tom Swifties

Sanitation Worker: The title conferred on garbage men when they  started earning more than public school teachers.

Definitions Occupations

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Fools Intelligence

Remember, Rome wasn’t burned an a day.

Mixed metaphors

Aborigines: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country.

Definitions People

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

Definitions Frugal Money

Let’s not open that can of worms until we get this one nailed down.

Mixed metaphors

He can cry on a dime.

Mixed metaphors

“The vegetables are overcooked!” she steamed.

Tom Swifties

Do you follow where I'm coming from?

Mixed metaphors Understanding

Ultimatum: In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.

Definitions

Exaggeration: Formal term for a collection of fishermen (i.e. an exaggeration of anglers).

Activities Definitions Language

Michelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sixteenth Chapel.

Malaprops

Antiques: Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.

Definitions Things

Matrimony: A knot tied by a preacher and untied by a lawyer.

Definitions Marriage