Author: Anonymous Page 139

Flatterer: One who says things to your face that he wouldn’t say behind your back.

Definitions

“I know what herb would taste nice with this,” said Tom sagely.

Tom Swifties

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents.

Definitions

The only reason she made it to the top was because her clothes didn't.

Appearance Body Clothing Success

Tears: Remorse code.

Definitions Wordplay

“It only looks like cocaine,” Tom snorted.

Tom Swifties

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Government Intelligence Law

He used to kiss her on her lips, but it's all over now.

Situations

“Where’s my pants?” asked Tom briefly.

Tom Swifties

Accordion: A bagpipe with pleats.

Things

“Unlike you, I’ve always been a dog person,” he barked.

Tom Swifties

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Characteristics Intelligence

“I’m falling into a void,” said Tom flawlessly.

Tom Swifties

We all have our own legs to pull.

Mixed metaphors

I saw a mosquito in Alaska so big… I could see his brand.

Animals Exaggerations Places

Cardiology: The study of poker playing.

Activities Definitions

Kin: An affliction of the blood.

Definitions Family

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Sabbatical: A Latin word meaning, “I quit, but you won’t know it for certain for a year.”

Definitions

The discovery of the preserved bodies “breathed new life into” Arctic exploration.

Mixed metaphors

“I really don’t like tending the garden,” he said witheringly.

Tom Swifties