Author: Anonymous Page 14

Lets see who takes the bite on that.

Mixed metaphors

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

Definitions

“I don’t work here on a regular basis,” said Tom casually.

Tom Swifties

Home: A place where a man is free to say anything he pleases because no one pays any attention to him.

Definitions Places

A man's home is his castle – let him clean it.

Mixed metaphors

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work.

Definitions

“I couldn’t believe there were 527,986 bees in the swarm!” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties

We will burn that horse when we get there.

Mixed metaphors

Financial Wizard: A person who can earn money faster than the family can spend it.

Definitions Money

Heredity: What a man believes in until his son begins to behave like a delinquent.

Definitions Family

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Science/Weather

Bury it under the carpet

Mixed metaphors

“Those ballet students should be forced to do their exercises in the nude,” said Tom barbarically.

Tom Swifties

She is so ugly… when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

Definitions

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol Food/Drink Health Life

There is no pancreas to the whole world's problems.

Malaprops

“Orgasms are overrated”, said Tom anticlimactically.

Tom Swifties

You're making a mountain out of a Mohawk.

Malaprops

Long road to hoe.

Mixed metaphors

Courtship: When a fellow and a girl are always trying to show how smart he is.

Definitions Relationships