Author: Anonymous Page 140

Entrepreneur: What you’re called when you don’t have a job.

Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job, who tells you how to do your job.

Long road to hoe

It's like locking the barn door after the nuts have bolted.

What a terrible cat's after me!

The head of the body overseeing youth justice…

“The pool player from USC had to drop out because the proper equipment didn’t arrive on time,” Tom calculated.

Worst case Ontario.

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians.

Many a man who misses an anniversary catches it later.

Like stealing cake from a baby

I'm not the kind of person who wears his heart up his sleeve.

Harpist: A plucky musician.

“Those ballet students should be forced to do their exercises in the nude,” said Tom barbarically.

Babysitter: A teenager you pay $7 an hour to eat $20 worth of snacks.

When arguing with a stupid person, be sure he isn’t doing the same thing.

She’d complain if Jesus came down and handed her a $5 bill.

It's like a wizard in sheep's clothing.

Epigram: A half-truth so stated to irritate the person who believes the other half.

Communist: A fellow who will gladly divide his hunger and thirst with you if you’ll divide your beer and salami with him.

Auditor: A person who goes in after the war is lost to bayonet the wounded.