Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Anonymous Page 140
Chicken guarding the hen house
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Did you hear what they feel?
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
That’ll separate the men from the goats.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Union: A dues-paying club workers wield to strike management.
Anonymous
Definitions
Work
Union
It is so hot… I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“What’s the value of a dollar bill?” asked Tom noteworthily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Statistician: A person who believes that if you put your head in a furnace and your feet in a bucket of iced water, on the average you should feel reasonably comfortable.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Statistician
I used to be indecisive… but I'm not sure.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Indecision
Oxymorons
The philosophy exam was a piece of cake… which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
Anonymous
Education
School
Exams
Lawyer: A fellow who is willing to go out and spend your last cent to prove he’s right.
Anonymous
Definitions
Lawyers
Doctor: Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he knew.
Anonymous
Definitions
Doctors
Health
Discretion: When you are sure you are right and then ask your wife.
Anonymous
Definitions
Discretion
District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
District of Columbia
Small Town: Where everybody is interested in what the Joneses will name the latest baby, while a big city is where they worry about what the zoo will call the new elephant.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
Small town
“Why do you bother? I for one couldn’t….,” said Tom carelessly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Anonymous
Definitions
Bull Market
Investing
Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Politicians
Bureaucrat
The ship of state has a difficult road ahead.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Efficiency Expert: A man smart enough to tell you how to run your business and too smart to start his own.
Anonymous
Definitions
Efficiency Expert
Page 140 of 161
« First
« Previous
138
139
140
141
142
Next »
Last »