Author: Anonymous Page 140

A loose tongue spoils the broth.

Mixed metaphors

“This pencil tip is dull,” she said pointedly.

Tom Swifties

“The food here is terrible,” he muttered, swallowing his words.

Tom Swifties

Brothel: Home is where the tart is.

Definitions

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Beliefs People

A husband always prefers his wife’s mother-in-law to his own.

Marriage

Interpreter: One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter’s advantage for the other to have said.

Communication Definitions Language

Toupée: Top secret.

Appearance Definitions Hair

Marching to the beat of a dead horse

Mixed metaphors

Editor: The fellow who makes a long story short.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

We may never know exactly how much others know about us, but we can always suspect it.

People Self

Umbrella: A movable roof.

Definitions Things

Too many people are ready to carry the stool when the piano needs to be moved.

Work

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

Money isn’t everything: usually it isn’t enough.

Money

Marriage is the price men pay for sex, sex is the price women pay for marriage.

Marriage Men People Sex Women

Hypochondriac: One who can’t leave well-enough alone.

Definitions Health

There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.

Communication Health Language

“I’ve still got two fingers left,” said Tom handsomely.

Tom Swifties

I can syncronize with those homeless people.

Malaprops

Running around like a chicken with its legs cut off

Mixed metaphors