Author: Anonymous Page 140

Chicken guarding the hen house

Did you hear what they feel?

“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.

That’ll separate the men from the goats.

Union: A dues-paying club workers wield to strike management.

It is so hot… I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

“What’s the value of a dollar bill?” asked Tom noteworthily.

Statistician: A person who believes that if you put your head in a furnace and your feet in a bucket of iced water, on the average you should feel reasonably comfortable.

I used to be indecisive… but I'm not sure.

The philosophy exam was a piece of cake… which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

Lawyer: A fellow who is willing to go out and spend your last cent to prove he’s right.

Doctor: Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he knew.

Discretion: When you are sure you are right and then ask your wife.

District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.

Small Town: Where everybody is interested in what the Joneses will name the latest baby, while a big city is where they worry about what the zoo will call the new elephant.

“Why do you bother? I for one couldn’t….,” said Tom carelessly.

Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

The ship of state has a difficult road ahead.

Efficiency Expert: A man smart enough to tell you how to run your business and too smart to start his own.