Author: Anonymous Page 140

The titles are listed on the movie theater marquis.

Entertainment Malaprops

Earthquake: A topographical error.

Definitions

Punctuality: The art of guessing correctly how late the other party is going to be.

Definitions Time

“The doctor had to remove a bone from my arm,” said Tom humorlessly.

Tom Swifties

We heard the sea is infatuated with sharks.

Animals Malaprops

Diet: Something to take the starch out of you.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

He'll take your head off at the blink of a hat.

Mixed metaphors

“Ignore the first three turnings,” directed Tom forthrightly.

Tom Swifties

You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Communication Law Speech

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

Communication Education Learning Speech

Business Forecaster: A person who is uncertain about the future and hazy about the present.

Definitions

“This way to the seabird exhibit”, said Tom awkwardly.

Tom Swifties

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Health Life

Expert: A man who is seldom in doubt, but often in error.

Definitions

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Computers Definitions Things

She looked gorgeous in her new dress – absolutely explicit.

Malaprops

Babysitter: A teenager you hire to watch your TV.

Definitions

Death: To stop sinning suddenly.

Death Definitions

Good to be back on the old terracotta.

Malaprops

Courtship: When a fellow gets so wrapped up in a girl that it’s easy to tie the knot.

Definitions Relationships

It's as plain as the egg on your face.

Mixed metaphors