Author: Anonymous Page 140

“My ancestor was a famous Confederate general who had an army fort named after him,” Tom bragged.

Book Jacket: A fable of contents.

“Dorothy, if you’re going to Oz again, I’m going with you,” Em barked.

Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

We were the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.

Tackle that hurdle

A heart as big as gold

Tears: A good-bye product.

Donation: A country full of female deer.

He is so ugly… when he walks into the bank they turn off the cameras.

Economists are still trying to figure out why the girls with the least principle draw the most interest.

I was so poor, I couldn't even pay attention.

Adultery: Putting yourself in someone else’s position.

I don't want to step on your thunder.

99 times out of ten, that's what you'll get.

Trick Photography: Focus pocus.

Pessimist: Someone who burns their bridges before they get to them.

“I’m on the green,” Tom lied.

Middle Age: That period when a man begins to shed his hair, his teeth, and his illusions.

Sterile Solution: Vasectomy.

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.