Author: Anonymous Page 141

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law

Idle hands are the mother of invention.

Mixed metaphors

Bridge: A game in which a wife is always eager to do her husband’s bidding.

Activities Definitions Games

Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Definitions

Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil.

Definitions Occupations

“I can no longer hear anything,” said Tom deftly.

Tom Swifties

He’s wearing a tomahawk haircut.

Malaprops

Life: A breathing spell.

Definitions Life

Hell is a place where the motorists are French, the policemen are German, and the cooks are English.

England

“I wouldn’t like anything but just that,” said Tom wantonly.

Tom Swifties

That will round out the triangle.

Mixed metaphors

Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.

Definitions

Stuff tends to break when it is loaned or borrowed.

Accidents Problems Things

X: The signature of a happy man.

Definitions

“I’ll take that”, said Tom appropriately.

Tom Swifties

Camp: A place in the country where a mother sends her children for her vacation.

Definitions Places

Character: What you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.

Definitions

Women: Can't live with 'em – can't live with 'em.

People Women

Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty.

Definitions Government

“Another work week begins,” said Tom mundanely.

Tom Swifties

Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it will last.

Sex