Author: Anonymous Page 142

Hot Pants: Breeches of promise.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Definitions Sex

Underwater Swimmer: One who practices submersive activitites.

Activities Definitions

She raped him in a blanket.

Malaprops Situations

She has initiated and is very remorseful.

Characteristics Malaprops

Acupuncture: Waiting for a cure on pins and needles.

Miscellaneous

Have no delusions about the past.

Malaprops

This is the problem we are wringing our hair over.

Mixed metaphors

“Who is this Tom Swifty character anyway?” asked Tom unselfconsciously.

Tom Swifties

“I’ve paid my annual subscription,” Tom remembered.

Tom Swifties

Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.

Crime Death Definitions Killing

What a terrible cat's after me!

Malaprops

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Flashlight: A case for storing dead batteries.

Definitions Things

An Irishman is not drunk as long as he still has a blade of grass to hang onto.

Alcohol Food/Drink People

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old

A sandwich is an attempt to make both ends meat.

Food/Drink

“I’ve joined the navy,” Tom said fleetingly.

Tom Swifties

He’s so ugly, he’s gotta sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.

Miscellaneous

Hat: Something the average man covers his head with, the beggar passes around, the statesman throws into the ring, and the politician talks through.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

“I’ve stopped seeing my therapist”, said Tom unshrinkingly.

Tom Swifties