Author: Anonymous Page 143

Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Definitions Emotions

“We must hurry,” said Tom Swiftly.

Tom Swifties

The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on.

Situations Sleep

Clearly we’ve opened a Pandora’s box of worms here.

Mixed metaphors

She’s a tall drink of water.

Appearance Body Expressions

“It’s my personal magnetism,” said Tom ironically.

Tom Swifties

Business Lunch: Lunch.

Definitions Food/Drink

We can still hang our heads high.

Mixed metaphors

Umbrella: A movable roof.

Definitions Things

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Communication Mistakes Problems

Surfing the Infobahn [information superhighway]

Mixed metaphors

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Autos Husbands Marriage Wives

Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two being goulash and squid.

Definitions Food/Drink

Admiral: A general at sea.

Definitions Military

The lining's always more silver on the other side of the cloud.

Mixed metaphors

A sure sign of bureaucracy is when the first person who answers the phone can’t help you.

Government

It’s all water under the hatchet.

Mixed metaphors

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Language Science/Weather

“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.

Tom Swifties

I understand that Congress has taken the first step in the fight against air pollution: limiting the speeches to five minutes.

Congress Government