Author: Anonymous Page 143

“It’s just gold leaf”, said Tom guiltily.

Tom Swifties

A horse divided against itself cannot stand.

Malaprops

“I’m embarrassed,” Tom admitted readily.

Tom Swifties

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

The squeaky wheel wins.

Mixed metaphors

Dictatorship: A system of government where everything that isn’t forbidden is obligatory.

Definitions Government

“That young insect is female,” said Tom gallantly.

Tom Swifties

Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Euphemisms: Unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.

Definitions

“The phone reception here is excellent,” he said clearly.

Tom Swifties

Consumer: One who delights advertisers by acquiring unnecessary products.

Definitions Shopping

“You have the right to remain silent,” said Tom arrestingly.

Tom Swifties

Death: A breath-taking experience.

Death Definitions

A duck on a hot tin roof.

Mixed metaphors

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.

Definitions

He is so ugly… robbers give him their masks to wear.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Communication Health Language Reading/Writing

Autobiography: An I-witness account

Books Communication Definitions People Self

“I can see through the window,” said Tom stiltedly.

Tom Swifties

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.

Money

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

Communication Definitions