Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 143
Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Anonymous
Definitions
Emotions
Worry
“We must hurry,” said Tom Swiftly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on.
Anonymous
Situations
Sleep
Erections
Clearly we’ve opened a Pandora’s box of worms here.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
She’s a tall drink of water.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Expressions
Tall
Thin
“It’s my personal magnetism,” said Tom ironically.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Business Lunch: Lunch.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Business Lunch
We can still hang our heads high.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Umbrella: A movable roof.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Umbrella
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Anonymous
Communication
Mistakes
Problems
Listening
Surfing the Infobahn [information superhighway]
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
Anonymous
Autos
Husbands
Marriage
Wives
Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.
Anonymous
Definitions
Entertainment
Music
Jazz Musician
Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two being goulash and squid.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Yogurt
Admiral: A general at sea.
Anonymous
Definitions
Military
Admiral
The lining's always more silver on the other side of the cloud.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
A sure sign of bureaucracy is when the first person who answers the phone can’t help you.
Anonymous
Government
Bureaucracy
It’s all water under the hatchet.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
We should go metric every inch of the way.
Anonymous
Language
Science/Weather
Metric system
“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
I understand that Congress has taken the first step in the fight against air pollution: limiting the speeches to five minutes.
Anonymous
Congress
Government
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