Author: Anonymous Page 144

“I’m mentioned in this book,” said Tom contentedly.

Tom Swifties

Automation takes more people to correct the mistakes.

Mistakes Problems

Appendix: A portion of a book, for which nobody yet has discovered any use.

Definitions

Window: A looking-out glass.

Definitions Things

Weed: A plant whose virtues have not been discovered.

Definitions

Flirtation: Paying attention without intention.

Definitions

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Retraction: The revision of an insult to give it wider circulation.

Definitions Insults

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Definitions Future Time

Alimony: The high cost of leaving.

Definitions Marriage

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

Definitions Lawyers

She tried to use reverse psychiatry on me.

Malaprops

A duck on a hot tin roof.

Mixed metaphors

Brothel: Home is where the tart is.

Definitions

Never believe anything until it's been officially denied.

Beliefs Communication

Bugs: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.

Animals Definitions

He's a pretty sharp cookie.

Mixed metaphors

Automatic: If something is automatic, that simple means that you can’t repair it yourself.

Definitions Murphy’s Laws Problems

“I shall see to it well in advance,” said Tom tenderly.

Tom Swifties

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Definitions

II want to go home and smuggle with my wife.

Malaprops