Author: Anonymous Page 144

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People

Sex Education: Sermon on the mount.

Definitions Sex Wordplay

“I’m not going to give up anything this Easter,” said Tom relentlessly.

Tom Swifties

Snoring: Sound sleeping.

Definitions

Friends: There are two kinds of friends – those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you.

Definitions Friends People

Entrepreneur: What you’re called when you don’t have a job.

Definitions

Business Lunch: Lunch.

Definitions Food/Drink

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

I resemble that remark!

Malaprops

We all act as one heartbeat.

Mixed metaphors

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Definitions Occupations Work

The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but you still have to mow it.

Situations

Vegetarian: Indian word for bad hunter.

Definitions

Don't bite the hand that lays the golden egg.

Mixed metaphors

Discretion: A sense that comes to a man too late to do him any good.

Definitions

Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

Definitions Men People Relationships

Bank Robber: A guy who gets alarmed easily.

Definitions

Golf is not a game, it’s bondage; it was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.

Golf Sports

“There, there,” was Tom’s pat answer.

Tom Swifties

Pickpocket: A man who believes that every crowd has a silver lining.

Crime Definitions

Courtesy: Acceptable hypocrisy.

Definitions