Author: Anonymous Page 144

Walking with your head between your legs.

Mixed metaphors

The police surrounded the building and threw an accordion around the block.

Malaprops Situations

Flirtation: Paying attention without intention.

Definitions

“We’ll need a higher price at auction,” Tom said morbidly.

Tom Swifties

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

I wouldn’t be caught dead there with a ten-foot pole.

Mixed metaphors

Waffle: A pancake with a nonskid tread.

Definitions Food/Drink

Karaoke: Japanese for “Drunk with Microphone.”

Definitions Entertainment

“I teach at a university,” Tom professed.

Tom Swifties

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

“Perhaps I will,” said Tom with all his might.

Tom Swifties

Photostatic memory

Malaprops

Centimeter: A parking meter that takes pennies.

Definitions

Bachelor: A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

Definitions Men People

Dieting is not a piece of cake.

Food/Drink

Alimony: The sum of money a man is commanded to pay his ex-wife in exchange for the pleasure of having her live under a separate roof.

Definitions Marriage

“I’m swimming in the middle of Paris!” shouted Tom insanely.

Tom Swifties

Etiquette: Learning to yawn with your mouth closed.

Definitions

… has eaten into the grocery chain’s luxury food side.

Mixed metaphors

… just to relieve the monopoly.

Malaprops Situations

Umpire: The original strike arbitrator.

Definitions Wordplay