Author: Anonymous Page 145

“I’ve grown fat on the contents of charity packages,” said Tom carefully.

Miscellaneous

He was grinnin like a possum eatin a sweet tater.

Expressions

Plan to be spontaneous… tomorrow.

Characteristics Time

She’s a tall drink of water.

Appearance Body Expressions

Bigamist: A man who makes the same mistake twice.

Definitions Marriage

You are not being diplomatic just because you put please in front of “Shut the hell up.”

Characteristics Situations

Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.

Definitions Sports

Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil.

Definitions Occupations

Bugs: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.

Animals Definitions

Professor: A person whose job is to tell students how to solve the problems of life he avoided by becoming a professor.

Definitions Education

“This oar is broken,” said Tom robustly.

Tom Swifties

The world is your lobster.

Mixed metaphors

Necking: A passion fancy.

Definitions

Trombones: Bones in an orchestra.

Definitions

“I won’t play for this team any longer,” Tom decided.

Tom Swifties

“The doctor had to remove a bone from my arm,” said Tom humorlessly.

Tom Swifties

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Situations

“You don’t see the point, do you?” asked Tom, stabbing in the dark.

Tom Swifties

Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.

Science/Weather Wordplay

The only difference between a “hair stylist” and a regular barber is the price.

Occupations Work

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places