Author: Anonymous Page 145

“I couldn’t believe there were 527,986 bees in the swarm!” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties

So windy he could blow up an onion sack.

Communication Exaggerations Expressions Speech

“Now I have the tools to chop down that tree,” said Tom with a heavy accent.

Tom Swifties

“I can see the Greek woodland deity is no more,” Tom said with a deadpan expression.

Tom Swifties

If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough, someone will say it's women's work.

Money People Women Work

“Monaural and quadraphonic systems are exceptions,” said Tom stereotypically.

Tom Swifties

If you let the cat out of the bag, how can you let sleeping dogs lie?

Mixed metaphors

How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on.

Time

Unabated: A fishhook without a worm.

Definitions

Toastmaster: A gentleman who introduces a gentleman who needs no introduction.

Definitions

Youth: That brief period, as distinguished from childhood or middle age, when the sexes talk to each other at a party.

Age Definitions People Young

We are just scratching the tip of the iceberg.

Mixed metaphors

“I’m going to be intestate,” said Tom unwillingly.

Tom Swifties

Cricket: A game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity.

Definitions Sports

Amnesia: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

Definitions

“I’m going to get a hair transplant,” said Tom baldly.

Tom Swifties

Which way are the tea leaves blowing?

Mixed metaphors

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

We'll drive off of that bridge when we get to it.

Mixed metaphors

She looked at me like a cow looking at a new gate.

Appearance Characteristics Expressions Intelligence

I just asked you what time it was, not how a watch works.

Communication Expressions