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Absolute Zero: The lowest grade attainable on a test.

Definitions Education School

They'll have to retaliate the vote.

Malaprops

Management: A class of semi-skilled corporate hirelings whose rise within the organization correlates directly with the amount of work they delegate to their more-talented underlings.

Definitions Work

Announce: Thirty grams or a sixteenth of a pound.

Definitions Wordplay

Youth: That brief period, as distinguished from childhood or middle age, when the sexes talk to each other at a party.

Age Definitions People Young

Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Karma: Justice without the feeling of satisfaction.

Definitions

Temptation: Something which, when resisted, gives happiness and which, when yielded to, gives even greater happiness.

Definitions

He is confused as a baby raccoon!

Expressions

“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.

Tom Swifties

Slogan: A good old American substitute for the facts.

Definitions

“Have some shampoo,” was Tom’s unconditional offer.

Tom Swifties

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

Definitions

Busier than a moth in a mitten!

Expressions Situations

Insanity: Grounds for divorce in some states; grounds for marriage in all

Definitions Marriage

Scholarly Debate: Feud for thought.

Communication Definitions

I wish I could play my normal game… just once.

Golf Sports

I’m so hungry I could beat a dead horse.

Mixed metaphors

Taxpayer: A person who has the government on his payroll.

Definitions Government Taxes

Dictatorship: A system of government where everything that isn’t forbidden is obligatory.

Definitions Government

Executive: A person who can take two hours for lunch without anybody missing him.

Definitions Occupations