Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Anonymous Page 148
“Bad marksmanship,” the hunter groused.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle.
Anonymous
Golf
Sports
That baby's cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.
Anonymous
Appearance
Expressions
Reference to being cute or precious
Life is too short to drink cheap beer.
Anonymous
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Life
Cheap beer
He is so stupid… he thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Intelligence
Stupidity
“Nobody has scored yet in the tennis game,” said Tom lovingly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Etiquette is the noise you don’t make while having soup.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Etiquette
Night Club: A place where they take the rest out of restaurant and put the din in dinner.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
Night Club
Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.
Anonymous
Body
Definitions
Eunuch
“I’m waiting to see the doctor,” said Tom patiently.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Garage: An attic on a lower level.
Anonymous
Definitions
Garage
Never believe anything until it's been officially denied.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Communication
I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.
Anonymous
Language
Science/Weather
Metric system
“My neurotic blood-sucking arachnid has put on weight”, said Tom, his nervous tic showing again.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Wind: Weather on the go.
Anonymous
Definitions
Science/Weather
Wind
He was in
cardial
arrest.
Anonymous
Health
Malaprops
Cardiac
“Everything in Texas is bigger,” he said in measured tones; “Even the cowboys,” he continued hoarsely.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Quit your
procrasterbating
and go talk to him.
Anonymous
Malaprops
From “Raising Hope”
Procrastinating
His nose is so big… he has to lift it to eat.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Nose
You dug your bed, you lie in it.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“I’m your mother’s brother’s father-in-law’s son,” Tom related.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Page 148 of 161
« First
« Previous
146
147
148
149
150
Next »
Last »