Author: Anonymous Page 148

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

Beliefs Proverbs

She’s so big, it takes two men and a boy just to look at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Life Money

If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.

Characteristics Marriage Men

Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.

Definitions

Oar: Clumsy wooden implement used to moisten boat occupants.

Definitions Things

You could take that guy with a grain a salt.

Mixed metaphors

Spinster: A lady in waiting.

Definitions People Women

Houseplants: Vegetable companions.

Definitions

“I wonder if this will unlock the palace gates,” said Tom kinkily.

Tom Swifties

That was the last hump on the camel.

Mixed metaphors

Acupuncture: A jab well done.

Definitions

World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.

Definitions Places World

Cravings: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.

Definitions

Wood: That remarkable material which burns so easily in a forest and with such difficulty in a fireplace.

Definitions

“I feel a draft,” Tom said coolly.

Tom Swifties

“Rowing so much hurts my hands,” said Tom callously.

Tom Swifties

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common… they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Government Politicians

Users: Computer users are divided into three types: Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate users: people who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it. Expert users: people who break other people's computers.

Computers Definitions People Things

Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to avoid quitting.

Definitions Work

“I’ve never had a car accident,” said Tom recklessly.

Tom Swifties