Author: Anonymous Page 148

“Bad marksmanship,” the hunter groused.

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle.

That baby's cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

He is so stupid… he thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.

“Nobody has scored yet in the tennis game,” said Tom lovingly.

Etiquette is the noise you don’t make while having soup.

Night Club: A place where they take the rest out of restaurant and put the din in dinner.

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

“I’m waiting to see the doctor,” said Tom patiently.

Garage: An attic on a lower level.

Never believe anything until it's been officially denied.

I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.

“My neurotic blood-sucking arachnid has put on weight”, said Tom, his nervous tic showing again.

Wind: Weather on the go.

He was in cardial arrest.

“Everything in Texas is bigger,” he said in measured tones; “Even the cowboys,” he continued hoarsely.

Quit your procrasterbating and go talk to him.

His nose is so big… he has to lift it to eat.

You dug your bed, you lie in it.

“I’m your mother’s brother’s father-in-law’s son,” Tom related.