Author: Anonymous Page 149

Like all self-made men he worships his creator.

Insults Reviews/Criticism

Men are like lawnmowers: they’re hard to get started, emit noxious odors and half the time they don’t work.

Men People

Immorality: The morality of those who are having a better time.

Definitions

Gifted Children: Unfortunate tykes who lack the good sense to hide their talents from overly ambitious parents.

Definitions Family

He is so poor… he can't even pay attention.

Exaggerations Money Poverty

Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

“Yes, I’m amazingly strongly built,” said Tom soberly.

Tom Swifties

Charm: That indefinable something possessed by girls with stunning figures.

Appearance Definitions

Rejoinder: Married his ex.

Definitions Marriage

Diet: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.

Definitions Food/Drink

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Beliefs Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Proverbs

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents.

Animals Definitions

Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.

Definitions Relationships

Quickie: No sooner spread than done.

Definitions Sex

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Intelligence Memory Past

“Can I become a chorister?” Tom inquired.

Tom Swifties

The perferator of the crime was apprehended by the police.

Crime Malaprops

Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect it back.

Characteristics Money

Bill Collector: A man whom few care to see but many ask to call again.

Definitions

She could eat an apple through a picket fence.

Appearance Expressions

“I wouldn’t like anything but just that,” said Tom wantonly.

Tom Swifties