Author: Anonymous Page 15

Among the many remedies that won’t cure a cold, the most common is advice.

Beliefs Health

During exams you are permitted to look down for inspiration and up in exasperation, but you are not permitted to look side to side for information.

Education

Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

Well, that’s water under the dam.

Mixed metaphors

Monastery: Consecration camp.

Definitions Religion

“This flower’s empty,” the drone said belatedly.

Tom Swifties

Willy-Nilly: Impotent.

Miscellaneous

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work.

Definitions

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

“Use your own hair brush,” Tom bristled.

Tom Swifties

She looked at me like a cow looking at a new gate.

Appearance Characteristics Expressions Intelligence

“My neurotic blood-sucking arachnid has put on weight”, said Tom, his nervous tic showing again.

Tom Swifties

Demagogue: A man who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

Definitions

Dictator: One who thinks he can take it – no matter to whom it belongs.

Definitions

Architects: People who now have to measure their patrons for the breakfast nook.

Definitions Occupations

“I have to fix the car,” said Tom mechanically.

Tom Swifties

She is so ugly… when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

We all have our own legs to pull.

Mixed metaphors

Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.

Communication Definitions

I'm flying by the edge of my seat.

Misspokements

“The lion has its head caught in the skylight,” said Tom uproariously.

Tom Swifties