Author: Anonymous Page 15

He's grinning like a mule eating briars.

Appearance Emotions Expressions Happiness

“Who was in the sauna with you while I was at work today?” she asked hotly.

Tom Swifties

“I wonder if I’d have better luck if I fished with a net,” Tom debated.

Tom Swifties

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Education Learning Memory

Flood: A river too big for its bridges.

Definitions

Bowling: Marbles for grown-ups.

Activities Definitions

Up a tree without a paddle.

Mixed metaphors

I would not trust him with a ten foot pole.

Mixed metaphors

Statesman: A politician away from home.

Definitions Politicians

Alimony: A splitting headache.

Definitions Marriage

Etiquette: A convenient code of conduct which makes lying a virtue and snobbishness a righteous deed.

Definitions

Canada is like your attic, you forget that it's up there, but when you go, it's like "Oh man, look at all this great stuff!"

Canada Places

Liberal: One who tolerates all beliefs and opinions except those with which he disagrees.

Beliefs Definitions

Average Person: One who thinks someone else is the average person.

Definitions People

“Strike three,” Tom called out.

Tom Swifties

Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Definitions

Make like a tree and head out.

Mixed metaphors

Phillips Screwdriver: Used  to round off Phillips screw heads.

Definitions Things

The doctor felt the man's purse and thought it was awfully low.

Health Malaprops

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

Reunion: When you meet people your own age who all look a lot older than you.

Definitions People