Author: Anonymous Page 15

“My wife is going to have a test tube baby”, Tom injected artificially.

Tom Swifties

Wound up tighter than an eight-day clock

Expressions

“I have three houses, and I’m going to buy another,” said Tom forebodingly.

Tom Swifties

Interpreter: One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter’s advantage for the other to have said.

Communication Definitions Language

I wish I could play my normal game… just once.

Golf Sports

He is so fat… he has group insurance.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Camp: A place in the country where a mother sends her children for her vacation.

Definitions Places

Oh, for I minute there, I thought I was illuminating.

Malaprops

Multitasking: Messing up several chores at the same time.

Activities Definitions

His car is so expensive that instead of a stereo, Pavaratti takes requests from the back seat.

Autos Exaggerations Things

Hero: One who is afraid to run away.

Definitions

Chivalry: The attitude of a man toward somebody else’s wife.

Definitions

Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.

Definitions Places

He is so stupid… he got fired from an M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Director: The one who always faces the music.

Definitions Music

She is so fat… when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Arms Situations Things

Regardless of their age, most folks are not as old as they hope to be.

Age Old

Insanity: Knowing that what you’re doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can’t stop it.

Definitions

“Some you lose,” said Tom winsomely.

Tom Swifties

Desk: A dangerous place from which to view the world.

Definitions