Author: Anonymous Page 150

Snoring: Sheet music.

Definitions Sleep Wordplay

“It’s freezing,” Tom muttered icily.

Tom Swifties

Toupée: Top secret.

Appearance Definitions Hair

There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.

Communication Health Language

“Sorry, what I said was a no-brainer?” asked Tom absentmindedly.

Tom Swifties

I do emphasize greatly with him.

Malaprops

Contraceptives: What Protestants use on all conceivable occasions.

Definitions

Knitting: An exercise that gives women something to do when they are talking.

Activities Definitions

Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Definitions

Sympathizer: A fellow that’s for you as long as it doesn’t cost anything.

Definitions

Ugly as stump full of spiders.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

Men are like textbooks: you have to spend a lot of time between the covers to gain a small amount of satisfaction.

Books Education Men People Reading/Writing

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

He's a wolf in cheap clothing.

Malaprops

Lawyer: Men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.

Definitions Lawyers

He's got too many oars in the fire.

Misspokements

White Supremacists: The most convincing argument against the theory of white racial superiority.

Beliefs Definitions Intelligence People

Beyond the question of a doubt

Mixed metaphors

Cleopatra: Queen of denial.

Definitions

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

Charity begins at home… at about 6:30, when they call you and interrupt your dinner.

Characteristics