Author: Anonymous Page 150

“I can see you,” peeped Tom with his hands over his eyes.

Life: A play with a lousy third act.

Wolf: A fellow who wants his hands on a girl, but doesn’t want a girl on his hands.

Bigamist: A man who marries a beautiful girl and a good cook.

Amnesty: The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

Middle Age: When your age starts to show around your middle the art of raising eyebrows instead of the roof. 

Scholarly Debate: Feud for thought.

They try to balance a fine line.

That's the pot calling the kettle's bluff.

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Diaper: A bum wrap.

Recycling of animal protein in feed proved a recipe for disaster.

It was so cold… the kids at school were using flannel notebooks.

We have taken care of all of the silver bullets.

Twilight: All the difference between day and night.

Hit the wall running…

We heard the ocean is infatuated with sharks.

“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

If your time ain't come, not even a doctor can kill you.

Hard to tell whether somebody wanted to make a pretentious allegory and threw in a naked Melanie Griffith to help market it, or just wanted to market a naked Melanie Griffith and threw in a pretentious allegory as justification.