Author: Anonymous Page 150

“I can see you,” peeped Tom with his hands over his eyes.

Tom Swifties

Life: A play with a lousy third act.

Definitions Life

Wolf: A fellow who wants his hands on a girl, but doesn’t want a girl on his hands.

Definitions Men People

Bigamist: A man who marries a beautiful girl and a good cook.

Definitions Marriage Wives

Amnesty: The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

Definitions

Middle Age: When your age starts to show around your middle the art of raising eyebrows instead of the roof. 

Age Definitions

Scholarly Debate: Feud for thought.

Communication Definitions

They try to balance a fine line.

Mixed metaphors

That's the pot calling the kettle's bluff.

Mixed metaphors

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Language Science/Weather

Diaper: A bum wrap.

Definitions

Recycling of animal protein in feed proved a recipe for disaster.

Mixed metaphors

It was so cold… the kids at school were using flannel notebooks.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

We have taken care of all of the silver bullets.

Mixed metaphors

Twilight: All the difference between day and night.

Definitions Time

Hit the wall running…

Mixed metaphors

We heard the ocean is infatuated with sharks.

Malaprops

“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.

Tom Swifties

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Proverbs Situations Time

If your time ain't come, not even a doctor can kill you.

Death Doctors Health Life Situations

Hard to tell whether somebody wanted to make a pretentious allegory and threw in a naked Melanie Griffith to help market it, or just wanted to market a naked Melanie Griffith and threw in a pretentious allegory as justification.

Reviews/Criticism