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Oaf: An old fashioned jerk.

Definitions People

She is so fat… when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Vegetable: A substance used to ballast a child’s plate while it’s carried to and from the table.

Definitions Food/Drink

So windy he could blow up an onion sack.

Communication Exaggerations Expressions Speech

People seldom know what they want until you give them what they ask for.

Situations

Surely we'll dig up the past, in order to bury the hatchet.

Mixed metaphors

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

“I bought myself fifty hamburgers and I’ve only ten left,” said Tom with fortitude.

Tom Swifties

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

Expressions Food/Drink Frugal Money

Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.

Beliefs Definitions People

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Animals Appearance Dogs Expressions Ugly

He's as crooked as a barrel of snakes.

Expressions

She is so fat… when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

“That is a sick bird,” said Tom illegally.

Tom Swifties

“I hate math,” Tom added.

Tom Swifties

In the nineteenth century, life was hard for Europe’s pheasants.

Malaprops People Poverty

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.

Definitions

Doughnut: Holey food.

Definitions Food/Drink

Abortion: Love's labor lost.

Definitions

Organic Farm: Tilling like it is.

Definitions

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

People