Author: Anonymous Page 151

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Autos Intelligence Stupidity Things

Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Children Definitions Family

Fable: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

Definitions

Stirred the sea into a bowl of boiling cauldron

Mixed metaphors

It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.

Expressions Heat Science/Weather

“I’m swimming in the middle of Paris!” shouted Tom insanely.

Tom Swifties

We're going to get locked into a corner.

Mixed metaphors

“Cut it out!” said Tom sharply.

Tom Swifties

It's bad luck to be superstitious.

Situations

Old Age: When you find yourself using one bend-over to pick up two things.

Age Definitions Old

When all is said and done, more is said than done.

Communication Speech

Numismatics: Collecting money for fun.

Definitions

Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.

Definitions Places

Expert: A person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.

Definitions

He’s so lazy he wouldn’t work in a pie factory.

Characteristics Expressions Work

Genealogy: An account of one’s descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.

Definitions Family

Drug: A substance that, when injected into a guinea pig, produces a scientific paper.

Activities Definitions Drugs Science/Weather

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Definitions People

He was from Thailand or some other erotic place.

Malaprops Places

“I wonder if there’s a number between seven and nine,” said Tom considerately.

Tom Swifties

Can a one-legged duck swim in a circle?

Expressions