Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 151
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
Anonymous
Autos
Intelligence
Stupidity
Things
Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
Anonymous
Children
Definitions
Family
Family Planning
Fable: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
Anonymous
Definitions
Fable
Stirred the sea into a bowl of boiling cauldron
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.
Anonymous
Expressions
Heat
Science/Weather
Temperature
“I’m swimming in the middle of Paris!” shouted Tom insanely.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Seine
We're going to get locked into a corner.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“Cut it out!” said Tom sharply.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
Anonymous
Situations
Luck
Superstitions
Old Age: When you find yourself using one bend-over to pick up two things.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Old
When all is said and done, more is said than done.
Anonymous
Communication
Speech
Numismatics: Collecting money for fun.
Anonymous
Definitions
Numismatics
Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
Small town
Expert: A person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
Anonymous
Definitions
Expert
He’s so lazy he wouldn’t work in a pie factory.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Expressions
Work
Laziness
Genealogy: An account of one’s descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Genealogy
Drug: A substance that, when injected into a guinea pig, produces a scientific paper.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Drugs
Science/Weather
Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Boy
He was from Thailand or some other
erotic
place.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Places
Exotic
“I wonder if there’s a number between seven and nine,” said Tom considerately.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Can a one-legged duck swim in a circle?
Anonymous
Expressions
Obviously
Of course
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