Author: Anonymous Page 151

Silence: True wisdom’s best reply.

Definitions Wisdom

Calendar: An attempt, underwritten by the principal religions, to make the heavenly bodies keep regular hours.

Definitions

The perferator of the crime was apprehended by the police.

Crime Malaprops

The intention is to get a jumpstart on it.

Mixed metaphors

“I don’t like going to museums,” he said artlessly.

Tom Swifties

Dandruff: Chips off the old block.

Definitions

Executive: A person who can take two hours for lunch without anybody missing him.

Definitions Occupations

Hypochondria is the one disease I haven’t got.

Health

Acme: Spots on the top of your head.

Definitions

“Some you lose,” said Tom winsomely.

Tom Swifties

He’s so lazy, he’d marry a pregnant woman.

Characteristics Expressions

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions

Look what the cat dragged out of the bag.

Mixed metaphors

Euphemisms: Unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.

Definitions

Fat: Energy gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat

Celebrity: A person whose name is in everything but the telephone book.

Definitions

Hobby: Something you do to have fun whether you enjoy it or not.

Activities Definitions

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.

Definitions Things

“I have lost all my Hungarian sheet music,” said Tom listlessly.

Tom Swifties

Wind: Weather on the go.

Definitions Science/Weather

It's got lots of installation.

Appearance Clothing Malaprops