Author: Anonymous Page 151

I could hear footprints.

Malaprops

He'll take your head off at the blink of a hat.

Mixed metaphors

Walking with your head between your legs.

Mixed metaphors

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

Definitions Lawyers

Jack Benny played Mendelsson last night… Mendelsson lost.

Entertainment Music

“I really like hot dogs,” he said with relish.

Tom Swifties

Cleopatra: Queen of denial.

Definitions

Average Man: A person who doesn’t want much, and usually gets a little less than that.

Definitions People

“Unlike you, I’ve always been a dog person,” he barked.

Tom Swifties

We all act as one heartbeat.

Mixed metaphors

Adam wasn’t always the brightest tool.

Mixed metaphors

We were the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.

Food/Drink Places

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

People Women

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

April 1: The day we are reminded of what we are the other 364.

Definitions Fools Intelligence

What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?

Uncategorized

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Crime Definitions

Old Age: When you don’t recognize either the host or the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

Age Definitions

Faster than a dog's tail in a meat market.

Expressions Time

Sex is natural, but not if it's done right.

Sex