Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 151
A sandwich is an attempt to make both ends meat.
Anonymous
Food/Drink
Sandwich
Kicking off the hockey season
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
With Lenny in, Carl will fold like a domino!
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Consumer: One who delights advertisers by acquiring unnecessary products.
Anonymous
Definitions
Shopping
Consumer
Vacuum Cleaner: A sonic broom.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Vacuum Cleaner
He's between a rock and the deep blue sea.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Compromise: A deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted.
Anonymous
Definitions
Compromise
Acrimony: The holy state of being married.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
“He’s a boring chap,” said Tom indulgently.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
He doesn’t have much of a reputation or so I’ve heard.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Opinion
Oxymorons
Reputation
What comes around, is all around.
Anonymous
Malaprops
What comes around goes around
Spinster: A lady in waiting.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Women
Spinster
Genealogist: One who traces your family history back as far as your money will go.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Genealogist
They have come up with a perfect understanding; he won't try to run her life, and he won't try to run his, either.
Anonymous
Husbands
Marriage
Wives
“Pass me the shellfish,” said Tom crabbily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Calendar: An attempt, underwritten by the principal religions, to make the heavenly bodies keep regular hours.
Anonymous
Definitions
Calendar
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Anonymous
Problems
Situations
Death: A breath-taking experience.
Anonymous
Death
Definitions
He's got too many oars in the fire.
Anonymous
Misspokements
Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.
Anonymous
Definitions
Opinion
Yawn
Agnostic: A person who says that he knows nothing about God and, when you agree with him, he becomes angry.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
God
Agnostic
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