Author: Anonymous Page 151

Gossip: Anything that goes in one ear and over the back fence.

Communication Definitions Speech

“The vegetables are overcooked!” she steamed.

Tom Swifties

Close the barn door after you've led the horse to water.

Mixed metaphors

In the nineteenth century, life was hard for Europe’s pheasants.

Malaprops People Poverty

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

She's not wearing enough clothes to flag a hand car.

Appearance Clothing Expressions

Advertising: That which makes you think you’ve longed all your life for something you never even heard of.

Communication Definitions

Billboards: Litter on a stick.

Definitions

She is so fat… when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness.

Misspokements

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

Adherent: A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.

Definitions People

Adolescence is the best substitute ever invented for experience.

Age

Fad: Something that goes in one era and out the other.

Definitions

“Ouch! When I get stung, I want revenge,” said Tom begrudgingly.

Tom Swifties

He’s wearing a tomahawk haircut.

Malaprops

It is so hot… no shirt, no pants, no problem.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Eulogy: Praise that’s too much and too late.

Death Definitions

Out of the frying pan, into a handbasket.

Mixed metaphors

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

Situations Time