Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Thursday, April 3, 2025
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Anonymous Page 152
“I won’t tell you anything about my salivary glands,” said Tom secretively.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
It was so cold… when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.
Anonymous
Cold
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
“The prisoners set up a company,” the warden confirmed.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Conscience
Slogan: A good old American substitute for the facts.
Anonymous
Definitions
Slogan
Unabated: A fishhook without a worm.
Anonymous
Definitions
Unabated
“If I let go of the ceiling it will collapse,” Tom upheld.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do… but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
Anonymous
Husbands
Marriage
Wives
He’d fight an anvil.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Expressions
Mean
Strong
Tough
A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.
Anonymous
America
Arms
Conflict
People
Places
Canadians
Guns
Opportunist: One who goes ahead and does what you always planned to do.
Anonymous
Definitions
Opportunist
“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Once again, I read it on Wikipedia,” Tom recited.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.
Anonymous
Definitions
Budget
She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Fat
Vegetarian: Indian word for bad hunter.
Anonymous
Definitions
Vegetarian
Oh, for I minute there, I thought I was
illuminating.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Hallucinating
“The bank doesn’t want me as a customer,” said Tom unaccountably.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Post Office: U.S. Snail.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Mail
Post Office
The only man who can fool all the women all the time is a fashion designer.
Anonymous
Appearance
Clothing
People
Women
Fashion designers
Reoriented: Sent back to China.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
Reoriented
Page 152 of 161
« First
« Previous
150
151
152
153
154
Next »
Last »