Author: Anonymous Page 152

“I won’t tell you anything about my salivary glands,” said Tom secretively.

It was so cold… when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.

“The prisoners set up a company,” the warden confirmed.

Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.

Slogan: A good old American substitute for the facts.

Unabated: A fishhook without a worm.

“If I let go of the ceiling it will collapse,” Tom upheld.

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do… but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

He’d fight an anvil.

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

Opportunist: One who goes ahead and does what you always planned to do. 

“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.

“Once again, I read it on Wikipedia,” Tom recited.

Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.

She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.

Vegetarian: Indian word for bad hunter.

Oh, for I minute there, I thought I was illuminating.

“The bank doesn’t want me as a customer,” said Tom unaccountably.

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

The only man who can fool all the women all the time is a fashion designer.

Reoriented: Sent back to China.