Author: Anonymous Page 152

Gossip: One with a keen sense of rumor.

Definitions

I'm feeling lack-a-daisy today.

Malaprops

Birthdays are nice to have, but too many of them will kill a person.

Age

She is so ugly… when she goes swimming the tide goes out.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink

Let sleeping ducks lie.

Animals Dogs Malaprops

Parking Meter: An automatic device that bets a dollar to your nickel that you can’t get back before the time runs out.

Definitions Things

The discovery of the preserved bodies “breathed new life into” Arctic exploration.

Mixed metaphors

You look like you have been drug through a knot hole backwards.

Appearance Expressions

… forced to wade through a mountain of red tape

Mixed metaphors

Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices.

Definitions

“I’m going window shopping,” said Tom listlessly.

Tom Swifties

Marriage is bliss… Ignorance is bliss… Ergo…

Emotions Happiness Marriage

Can’t act. Slightly bald. Also dances.

Reviews/Criticism

Patriotism: The willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons dreamed up by politicians.

Death Definitions

Courage: Fear in action.

Definitions

I’m getting up on my feedbox here.

Mixed metaphors

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

Cooking Definitions

Colleague: The person to whom one passes the buck.

Definitions

Blushing: The color of virtue.

Definitions

Don't corner something that is meaner than you.

Expressions Situations