Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 152
Gossip: One with a keen sense of rumor.
Anonymous
Definitions
Gossip
I'm feeling
lack-a-daisy
today.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Lackadaisical
Birthdays are nice to have, but too many of them will kill a person.
Anonymous
Age
Birthdays
She is so ugly… when she goes swimming the tide goes out.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Ugly
Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.
Anonymous
Cooking
Definitions
Food/Drink
Fettuccine Alfredo
Let sleeping
ducks
lie.
Anonymous
Animals
Dogs
Malaprops
Parking Meter: An automatic device that bets a dollar to your nickel that you can’t get back before the time runs out.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Gambling
Parking Meter
The discovery of the preserved bodies “breathed new life into” Arctic exploration.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
You look like you have been drug through a knot hole backwards.
Anonymous
Appearance
Expressions
… forced to wade through a mountain of red tape
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices.
Anonymous
Definitions
Antique Shop
“I’m going window shopping,” said Tom listlessly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Marriage is bliss… Ignorance is bliss… Ergo…
Anonymous
Emotions
Happiness
Marriage
Can’t act. Slightly bald. Also dances.
Anonymous
Reviews/Criticism
Film studio official’s comment on Fred Astaire
Patriotism: The willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons dreamed up by politicians.
Anonymous
Death
Definitions
Patriotism
Courage: Fear in action.
Anonymous
Definitions
Courage
Fear
I’m getting up on my
feedbox
here.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Soapbox
Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.
Anonymous
Cooking
Definitions
Char
Colleague: The person to whom one passes the buck.
Anonymous
Definitions
Colleague
Blushing: The color of virtue.
Anonymous
Definitions
Blushing
Don't corner something that is meaner than you.
Anonymous
Expressions
Situations
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Can’t act. Slightly bald. Also dances.