Author: Anonymous Page 152

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Amen: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

Definitions

Summer Camps: Those places where little boys go for mother’s vacation.

Activities Definitions

One hundred degrees better

Mixed metaphors

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

Pregnancy: The shape of things to come.

Definitions

Antique: An item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of,  and you're buying again.

Definitions Things

Always remember: golf clubs don’t float.

Golf Sports

I resemble that remark!

Malaprops

Kill two birds with one egg

Mixed metaphors

Detour: The roughest distance between two points.

Activities Definitions Travel

Ant: A small insect that, though always at work, still finds time to go to picnics.

Animals Definitions

Philosophers: People who talk about something they don’t understand, and make you think it’s your fault.

Definitions Intelligence People

Chiropractor: A doctor who works his fingers to the bone… yours.

Definitions Doctors

Youth: The first fifty years of your life… the first twenty of anyone else’s.

Age Definitions Young

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

Body Definitions Men

Keep your nose up!

Mixed metaphors

“Melinda broke my heart,” Tom said half-heartedly.

Tom Swifties

Tact: The ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Communication Definitions

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

Definitions

People have the persona that all Texans wear cowboy hats.

Beliefs Malaprops Opinion