Author: Anonymous Page 152

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Definitions Occupations

“This Bud’s for you,” said Tom lightly.

Tom Swifties

Small Town: Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and all buy the weekly newspaper to see how much the editor dares to print.

Definitions Places

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

Never believe anything until it's been officially denied.

Beliefs Communication

I invented a new word – “plagiarism.”

Communication Language Wordplay

It is so hot… by the time I got home from buying eggs, I had twelve chicks in the bag.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.

Definitions Places

Once the horse is out of the barn, you can't put him back again.

Mixed metaphors

Inside every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out.

Books Communication

Never let a child wearing Superman pajamas sleep on the top bunk.

Children Family

If you are going to get the grief, you might as well get the gravy.

Expressions

Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.

Definitions

“I like ragged margins,” said Tom without justification.

Tom Swifties

Just keep your eye on the pie.

Malaprops

A rolling stone gathers no moths.

Malaprops

I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.

Communication People Speech

Spinster: An unlusted number.

Definitions People Women

The real estate agent can give you all the perpendiculars of this listing.

Malaprops

He’s a man without an island.

Mixed metaphors

That baby's cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.

Appearance Expressions