Author: Anonymous Page 152

Gossip: One with a keen sense of rumor.

I'm feeling lack-a-daisy today.

Birthdays are nice to have, but too many of them will kill a person.

She is so ugly… when she goes swimming the tide goes out.

Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.

Let sleeping ducks lie.

Parking Meter: An automatic device that bets a dollar to your nickel that you can’t get back before the time runs out.

The discovery of the preserved bodies “breathed new life into” Arctic exploration.

You look like you have been drug through a knot hole backwards.

… forced to wade through a mountain of red tape

Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices.

“I’m going window shopping,” said Tom listlessly.

Marriage is bliss… Ignorance is bliss… Ergo…

Can’t act. Slightly bald. Also dances.

Patriotism: The willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons dreamed up by politicians.

Courage: Fear in action.

I’m getting up on my feedbox here.

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

Colleague: The person to whom one passes the buck.

Blushing: The color of virtue.

Don't corner something that is meaner than you.