Author: Anonymous Page 153

There's a traumatic difference between the two.

Malaprops

We heard the sea is infatuated with sharks.

Animals Malaprops

Brothel: Home is where the tart is.

Definitions

Middle Age: That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it. 

Age Definitions

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

If she was cast as Lady Godiva the horse would steal the show.

Acting Entertainment Insults

I am sure I have done everything in my power since I exploded the affair.

Malaprops

Go ahead, spew it off your chest.

Misspokements

Theres no grass burning under this project.

Mixed metaphors

A wink is as good as a nod, to a blind horse.

Expressions

Taking over the reigns of leadership.

Malaprops

Experience: What you get from being inexperienced.

Definitions

Luxury Resort: One where a waiter expects a $2 tip when he presents a $6 bill for serving a $3.50 bottle of beer.

Definitions

You can lead a gift horse to water but you can't look him in the mouth.

Mixed metaphors

Let's call the kettle what it is!

Mixed metaphors

Retraction: The revision of an insult to give it wider circulation.

Definitions Insults

“Why do I have to strip naked again?” asked Tom rebuffingly.

Tom Swifties

Handkerchief: Cold Storage.

Definitions Health

My purses were selling like wild cakes.

Mixed metaphors

It'll be a cold day in January when that happens!

Mixed metaphors

Ascribe: Newspaper reporter.

Definitions