Author: Anonymous Page 154

“We’d like a table for two,” said Tom without reservation.

Bad Driver: The person you run into.

Television: A watching machine.

“I decided which car to purchase after looking at the pictures,” said Tom autobiographically.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” said Mary guilelessly.

Orthodox: Bone doctors.

Specialist: A man who knows more and more about less and less.

“Getting rid of acid is easy,” said Tom basically.

The early worm is being picked first.

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

“Ought I to do this?” asked Tom with a shudder.

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

It'll be a cold day in January when that happens!

“That little devil didn’t tell the truth,” Tom implied.

Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.

Three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Vacuum Cleaner: A sonic broom.

Abstinence is a good thing, but it should be practiced in moderation.

What he lacks in intelligence, he makes up for in stupidity.

Bad spellers of the world, untie!

Narcissist: Psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst.