Author: Anonymous Page 155

Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.

Communication Definitions

Boxing: A mutual affliction of brain damage for the amusement of the public.

Boxing Definitions Sports

Diagnosis: A physician’s forecast of the disease by the patient’s pulse and purse.

Definitions Health

If I was doin’ any better, I’d have ta hire somebody to help me enjoy it!

Emotions Expressions Happiness Life

Stuff tends to break when it is loaned or borrowed.

Accidents Problems Things

[a rock group’s] authenticity strikes a chord with fans.

Mixed metaphors

“Employees are not permitted to have sex on company furniture,” Tom shouted, banging on the table.

Tom Swifties

“I can eat one hundred and forty-four,” Tom boasted grossly.

Tom Swifties

It is so hot… no shirt, no pants, no problem.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

It's a mute point.

Malaprops

Don’t eat with your mouth full!

Mixed metaphors

Only in America can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box whilst a draft dodger lives in the White House.

America Places Situations

“I need an injection,” Tom pleaded in vain.

Tom Swifties

Sense Of Humor: Being able to laugh at your friends’ misfortunes.

Definitions Emotions

I disagree with unanimity.

Beliefs Opinion

Stock Market: A popular game of chance in which moneyed speculators gamble with the nation’s economy, the object being to amass as much unearned income as possible before one’s fellow gamblers withdraw from the game and precipitate a nationwide depression.

Definitions Money

She really stuck her neck out on a limb.

Mixed metaphors

If he were alive today, he’d be turning over in his grave.

Mixed metaphors

Budget: An attempt to live below your yearnings.

Definitions

“Have some shampoo,” was Tom’s unconditional offer.

Tom Swifties

It ain't rocket surgery.

Mixed metaphors