Author: Anonymous Page 155

Ignorance is golden.

Mixed metaphors

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Have no delusions about the past.

Malaprops

Pediatrician: Man of little patients.

Definitions Doctors Health Wordplay

Nervous as a cat in a room full of rockers

Characteristics Emotions Expressions

A salesman told viewers that a keyboard would teach your mind's eye to play by ear.

Mixed metaphors

Linguist: A person who can be misunderstood in many languages.

Communication Definitions Language

Igloo: An icicle built for two.

Definitions

Biting the hand that rocks the cradle

Mixed metaphors

When making picture frames, you’ll need a Midas box, so you can cut the angle right.

Malaprops

Diplomat: Someone who can lose all the points and still win the game.

Definitions

Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil.

Definitions Occupations

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

He’s so skinny, his pants had only one back pocket.

Appearance Body Expressions

He’s got more dollars than cents.

Expressions Intelligence

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Definitions Science/Weather

Her business seems to be doing well; it must be very ludicrous.

Malaprops Money

Abort: To correct a misconception.

Definitions

I can syncronize with those homeless people.

Malaprops

They're in the trenches; they're on the horse and they're riding it.

Mixed metaphors

Everybody and his dog was there.

Expressions People