Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 155
I went skiing last week and broke a leg… fortunately it wasn’t mine.
Anonymous
Sports
Skiing
Beware my friend… you are skating on hot water.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Employment Agency: Where people are put in their place.
Anonymous
Definitions
Work
Employment Agency
Easy reading is damned hard writing.
Anonymous
Communication
Reading/Writing
Judge: A man in a trying position.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
Judge
Indifference: A woman’s feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as “playing hard to get.”
Anonymous
Definitions
Indifference
Motel: A love-inn.
Anonymous
Definitions
Motel
“Yes, we have no bananas,” Tom said fruitlessly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Experience: The name an older man gives to his mistakes.
Anonymous
Definitions
Mistakes
Experience
Younger Generation: A group that is alike in many disrespects.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
People
Young
Younger Generation
Before I start speaking, I'd like to say something.
Anonymous
Misspokements
Speech
Intimacy: The first step toward parenthood.
Anonymous
Definitions
Intimacy
Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.
Anonymous
Definitions
Black Eye
Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
Anonymous
Time
Calendars
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Anonymous
Situations
Things
Matches
Booby Trap: A brassiere.
Anonymous
Definitions
Booby Trap
“Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I sleep in a wigwam; Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends I sleep in a teepee”, said Tom very attentively.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.
Anonymous
Cooking
Definitions
Food/Drink
Fettuccine Alfredo
We were so poor we had to eat dough for breakfast and sit out in the sun for lunch!
Anonymous
Eating
Expressions
Food/Drink
Money
Poverty
Hungry
Parents: One of the hardships of a minor’s life.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Parents
Diet: Something to take the starch out of you.
Anonymous
Definitions
Eating
Food/Drink
Diet
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