Author: Anonymous Page 155

The acrobats are performing freaks at the circus.

“I’m of greater value to you every day”, said Tom appreciatively.

Neighbors: People who live near you, who are never around when you need to borrow power tools or jumper cables, but who are everywhere when you are having a heated argument with your spouse.

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Like a four-horned billy goat

Gluttony: A sign something is eating us.

He had to use a fire distinguisher.

Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.

Absence makes the heart go wander.

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.

He is so fat… he's on both sides of the family.

Diplomat: A person who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Sleeping Bag: A nap sack.

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

“The optician probably doesn’t have my glasses ready yet,” Tom speculated.

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Money roots out all evil.

Ache: Joint concern.

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's too late to close the barn door.

Graffiti: Urban scrawl.

Gold Digger: A girl who will date any man that can pass the asset test.