Author: Anonymous Page 156

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Situations

“There’s nothing wrong with demons,” Tom said implicitly.

Tom Swifties

“I clubbed a diamondback snake with a spade,” Tom said heartlessly.

Tom Swifties

Profanity: The father tongue.

Communication Definitions Language Speech

“Come up to my apartment,” Tom said flatly.

Tom Swifties

“Yes, we have no bananas,” Tom said fruitlessly.

Tom Swifties

The world is full of apathy, but I don't care.

Beliefs Opinion

The United Nations is a good idea, but it’s a pity they have to have so many foreigners in it.

Government People

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Animals Appearance Dogs Expressions Ugly

I’m just talking out loud.

Mixed metaphors

A circle is a line of no depth running round a point forever.

Science/Weather

Fiddling with his guitar

Mixed metaphors

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

Up a tree without a paddle

Mixed metaphors

Anatomy: Something that everyone has, but it looks better on a girl.

Appearance Body Definitions

Diaphragm: A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

Body Definitions Health

Hobby: Something you do to have fun whether you enjoy it or not.

Activities Definitions

A sure sign of bureaucracy is when the first person who answers the phone can’t help you.

Government

“The doctor had to remove a bone from my arm,” said Tom humorlessly.

Tom Swifties

Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices.

Definitions

One way to get a real kick out of bridge is to sit opposite your wife.

Activities Games