Author: Anonymous Page 156

“This mental ward is busy,” said Tom crazily.

Tom Swifties

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

Executive Shakeup: Title wave.

Definitions

“Once again, I read it on Wikipedia,” Tom recited.

Tom Swifties

Prejudice: A great time-saver that enables one to form opinions without bothering to get the facts.

Definitions

“There’s no place for the kitchen sink,” said Tom counterproductively.

Tom Swifties

Guest towel: A small square of non-absorbent fabric surrounded by waterproof embroidery.

Definitions Things

Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

It doesn't take rocket appliances.

Intelligence Malaprops

He ain’t got enough sense to poor piss out of a boot.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

“I’ve never had a car accident,” said Tom recklessly.

Tom Swifties

“Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I sleep in a wigwam; Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends I sleep in a teepee”, said Tom very attentively.

Tom Swifties

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

Fools Intelligence People

Make like a tree and head out.

Mixed metaphors

Alimony: A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.

Divorce Marriage

He's between a rock and the deep blue sea.

Mixed metaphors

Modesty: Being comfortable that others will soon discover your greatness.

Definitions Self

“I’m going to be intestate,” said Tom unwillingly.

Tom Swifties

I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.

Language Science/Weather

Interesting: A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

Communication Definitions Speech

Does a fat boy like cake.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat