Author: Anonymous Page 156

They'll have to retaliate the vote.

Malaprops

Satan: The scarecrow in the religious cornfield.

Beliefs Definitions Religion

He is so old… when he was in school they didn’t teach history!

Age Education Exaggerations Old School

Delivering her baby at home is the birthright of every woman.

Mixed metaphors

Critic: One quick-on-the-flaw.

Definitions Occupations

“This movie will be very popular,” Tom projected.

Tom Swifties

No Exit: A sign indicating the most convenient way out of a building.

Definitions

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Youth: The first fifty years of your life… the first twenty of anyone else’s.

Age Definitions Young

You have to take the bad with the worse.

Mixed metaphors

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Government Politics

“Why don’t you have some fruit?”, asked Tom with aplomb.

Tom Swifties

Dog Kennel: A barking lot.

Animals Definitions Dogs

Consult: To seek another’s approval of a course already decided upon.

Definitions

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Definitions

“That’s more or less correct,” Tom said roughly.

Tom Swifties

Newlywed: A man who puts up the storm windows the first time his wife suggests it.

Definitions Marriage

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Definitions Wordplay

It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.

Expressions Heat Science/Weather

To avoid misunderstanding, I’ll stop speaking formal English and just use the binocular.

Communication Language Malaprops

Whiskey: The best thing to take for a headache – the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink