Author: Anonymous Page 156

handle him with kids’ gloves

Malaprops

Acrobat: The person who turns a flop into a success.

Definitions

Aground: When a boat makes the discovery that all water has land under it.

Definitions

You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.

Insults

Isn’t it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Beliefs

Interpreter: One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter’s advantage for the other to have said.

Communication Definitions Language

Abortion: Love's labor lost.

Definitions

Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.

Activities Definitions

Osteopath: A man who works his fingers to your bones.

Definitions Doctors

Can a one-legged duck swim in a circle?

Expressions

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

“I’ve got sand in my dinner,” said Tom grittily.

Tom Swifties

It’s all moth-eared.

Malaprops

Alimony: A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.

Divorce Marriage

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

Let's clear up a loose end.

Mixed metaphors

Two in every one people in this country are schizophrenic.

People

What he lacks in intelligence, he makes up for in stupidity.

Insults Intelligence Stupidity

You’ve buttered your bread, now lie in it.

Mixed metaphors

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

Appearance Body People Women

I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.

Mixed metaphors