Author: Anonymous Page 156

Print the bulletins and get the information decimated.

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

“I make the armor out of chain links,” Tom replied by mail.

… one says to the other her mum had a cyst on on her aviary.

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Garage: An attic on a lower level.

Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

“It’s my personal magnetism,” said Tom ironically.

Epigram: A half-truth so stated to irritate the person who believes the other half.

Desertion: The poor man’s divorce.

Reckless Driver: One who passes you on the highway in spite of all you can do.

Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.

We will burn that horse when we get there.

Announce: Thirty grams or a sixteenth of a pound.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Horse: An oatsmobile.

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Insurance: A form of gambling in which we bet our chance of escaping disaster, and win only when we lose.

There is no pancreas to the whole world's problems.

“I write elevator music,” Tom noted.

It's like pushing a rock upstream.