Author: Anonymous Page 157

You can always tell luck from ability by its duration.

Success

My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage; I take that as a compliment.

Miscellaneous

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

Cannibals are not vegetarians, they are humanitarians.

Food/Drink People

Accordion: An instrument whose music is long drawn out.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.

Definitions Food/Drink

People were streaming out of town to escape the floods.

Mixed metaphors

Right between the nose

Mixed metaphors

I'm feeling lack-a-daisy today.

Malaprops

Good punctuation means not to be late.

Malaprops Time

“Don’t add too much water,” said Tom with great concentration.

Tom Swifties

“Strike three,” Tom called out.

Tom Swifties

You are not being diplomatic just because you put please in front of “Shut the hell up.”

Characteristics Situations

We can still hang our heads high.

Mixed metaphors

Twins: Infant replay.

Children Definitions Family

Camp: A place in the country where a mother sends her children for her vacation.

Definitions Places

Before I start speaking, I'd like to say something.

Misspokements Speech

On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.

Misspokements

Alphabet: A toy for children found in books, blocks, pictures, and some soup.

Communication Definitions Language

He’s not the one with his ass in a noose.

Mixed metaphors