Author: Anonymous Page 157

Handkerchief: Cold Storage.

Definitions Health

A man doesn’t know the value of a woman’s love until he starts paying alimony.

Marriage

It's gonna snowball through the whole fireworks.

Mixed metaphors

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Desire: The thing that is so often nipped in the budget.

Definitions Emotions

“You’re busted!” said the policeman to Miss Parton.

Tom Swifties

We were like two ships sinking in the night.

Malaprops

Ambiguity: The lack of clarity in speech… or perhaps, something else.

Definitions

You could have knocked me over with a fender.

Mixed metaphors

Graffiti: Urban scrawl.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

Ecstasy: Happiness with its clothes off.

Definitions Emotions Happiness Sex

Two in every one people in this country are schizophrenic.

People

“I really like hot dogs,” he said with relish.

Tom Swifties

No skin off my teeth.

Mixed metaphors

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Beliefs Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Proverbs

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.

Animals Cats

I wish I could play my normal game… just once.

Golf Sports

“Use your own toothbrush!” Tom bristled.

Tom Swifties

“I can talk faster than you,” Tom expressed.

Tom Swifties