Author: Anonymous Page 158

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Age Definitions Young

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

Body Cold Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations

“I can’t march any more!” the soldier called haltingly.

Tom Swifties

Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.

Definitions

Can’t act… slightly bald… also dances.

Acting Dance Entertainment

The guy just couldn’t cut the custard.

Mixed metaphors

Bad spellers of the world, untie!

Communication Language

There's a pot of gold at the end of the tunnel.

Mixed metaphors

They tried to make me the escape goat.

Malaprops

Insurance: A form of gambling in which we bet our chance of escaping disaster, and win only when we lose.

Definitions

Monarch: A king with a good publicity man.

Definitions

Cravings: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.

Definitions

“That may cause my violin strings to snap,” was Tom’s gut reaction.

Tom Swifties

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

A falling nozzle will turn toward you and land on its trigger.

Problems Things

Adolescent: One who is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Definitions

An ideal mind is the devil's playground.

Misspokements

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Communication Wordplay

Ultimatum: In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.

Definitions

“Will you quit rustling around in my closet!” said Leif.

Tom Swifties

He experienced some rectal breeding.

Malaprops