Author: Anonymous Page 158

Pessimist: A person who looks at a doughnut and sees nothing but the hole.

Definitions

“I was adopted,” said Tom transparently.

Tom Swifties

Beyond the question of a doubt

Mixed metaphors

“This looks like the fruit of the blackthorn,” said Tom slowly.

Tom Swifties

Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.

Definitions Government Taxes

Well tie me to an anthill and fill my ears with jam!

Expressions

Fiddlesticks: Violin bows.

Definitions

“Fish seem to like me,” Tom said with baited breath.

Tom Swifties

The niblick, with its heavy head of iron, is a capital club for knocking down solicitors.

Golf Sports

So cross-eyed he could look at his own head.

Miscellaneous

Tact: The ability to arrive at conclusions without expressing them.

Definitions

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

Definitions Occupations Work

Adolescence: That period when children feel their parents should be told the facts of life.

Age Definitions

Thingy: Female Interpretation: Any part under a car’s hood; Male Interpretation: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

Definitions Men Things Women

Apologize: To repeat an insult with variations.

Definitions

Long road to hoe.

Mixed metaphors

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Murphy’s Laws

Fishing License: Permit issued upon payment of a modest fee that allows fishermen to lose lures in a specified area.

Activities Definitions

You hit the nail right on the nose.

Mixed metaphors

World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.

Definitions Places World