Author: Anonymous Page 158

Harpist: A plucky musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Bad Driver: The person you run into.

Autos Definitions Things

She is so stupid… she can’t make ice without a recipe.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Dime: A dollar with all the taxes taken out.

Definitions Money

You’ve really put your finger on the nail there.

Mixed metaphors

I thought she had persisted from corresponding with him.

Malaprops

Yearbook: A book of pictures that get nerdier with time.

Definitions

You can lead a gift horse to water but you can't look him in the mouth.

Mixed metaphors

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

He is so stupid… he thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.

Definitions Places

If she was cast as Lady Godiva the horse would steal the show.

Acting Entertainment Insults

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.

Definitions Food/Drink

Ignorance is golden.

Mixed metaphors

Wolf: A fellow who wants his hands on a girl, but doesn’t want a girl on his hands.

Definitions Men People

Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No Hard Feelings.”

Definitions Sex

Tact: The ability to arrive at conclusions without expressing them.

Definitions

Business Lunch: Lunch.

Definitions Food/Drink

Bald: When one has less hair to comb but more face to wash.

Appearance Definitions

Wrinkles: Something other people have… you have character lines.

Appearance Body Definitions

"Welcome to my tomb," said Tom cryptically.

Tom Swifties