Author: Anonymous Page 158

Fewer and fewer in between

Misspokements Mixed metaphors

Canada is like your attic, you forget that it's up there, but when you go, it's like "Oh man, look at all this great stuff!"

Canada Places

Both of my children had the chicken pops when they were young.

Health Malaprops

She is so fat… she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

II want to go home and smuggle with my wife.

Malaprops

“I really don’t like tending the garden,” he said witheringly.

Tom Swifties

Shivers of joy running up and down my throat

Mixed metaphors

Wedding License: A certificate that gives a woman the legal right to drive a man.

Definitions Marriage

He knew how to butter his nest.

Mixed metaphors

Altar: Place where a man loses control of himself.

Definitions Marriage

It was so cold… flashers were just describing themselves.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Life is a box of cherries.

Mixed metaphors

We will burn that horse when we get there.

Mixed metaphors

The record cover was a blank slate in 1939 at Columbia Records.

Mixed metaphors

Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.

Definitions Occupations

“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.

Tom Swifties

Snoring: Sound sleeping.

Definitions

Confidence: What you have before you understand the problem.

Definitions

Birthdays are nice to have, but too many of them will kill a person.

Age

You could start an argument in an empty house.

Characteristics Expressions

Survival of the fitness.

Malaprops