Author: Anonymous Page 158

Impotence: Emission impossible.

Definitions Sex

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

You can put the cart before the horse, but you can't make him drink.

Mixed metaphors

Invitro Fertilization: The innoculate conception.

Definitions

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

Definitions

Kleenex: Your daily nose-paper.

Definitions

The menu was frozen in the amber of 1973.

Mixed metaphors

Easy: Used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

Definitions People Sex Women

If sex doesn't scare the cat, you're not doing it right.

Sex

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Death Definitions

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Characteristics

Most anybody can be a cowboy, but it takes a damn genius to make money at it.

Money Occupations Work

“I could stand to lose 50% of my body weight”, said Tom affably.

Tom Swifties

Showoff: A child who is more talented than yours.

Children Definitions Family

World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.

Definitions Places World

I have my doubts about disbelief.

Miscellaneous

Girdle: Accessory after the fat.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

Reform: To gain or lose weight.

Appearance Body Definitions

“He’s a boring chap,” said Tom indulgently.

Tom Swifties

Work: An unpopular way to earn money.

Definitions Work