Author: Anonymous Page 158

She was so tall if she fell down she would be halfway home.

Appearance Body Expressions

“I’d like to make a toast,” Tom said warmly.

Tom Swifties

Censor: A person who sticks his noes into other people’s business.

Definitions

Testosterone: Hormone which causes facial hair, muscularity, a deep voice, speeding tickets, the desire to watch professional wrestling, Arnold Shwarzenegger movies, war, fist fights, and the need to purchase cocktails for women with names like “Boom Boom. ”

Definitions Men

The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.

Miscellaneous

Nun: A creature of habit.

Definitions Religion

Window: A looking-out glass.

Definitions Things

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

X Chromosome: a genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.

Definitions Men People

If worse comes to shove

Mixed metaphors

Abstract Art: The proof that things are not as bad as they are painted to be.

Art Definitions Entertainment

Anatomy: Something that everyone has, but it looks better on a girl.

Appearance Body Definitions

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Communication Wordplay

It is so hot… today I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Stirred the sea into a bowl of boiling cauldron

Mixed metaphors

“I like camping,” said Tom intently.

Tom Swifties

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge; others just gargle.

Alcohol Intelligence People

A plastic surgeon increases your face value.

Appearance

“Now I have the tools to chop down that tree,” said Tom with a heavy accent.

Tom Swifties

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

Definitions Wordplay

… on hollowed ground

Malaprops