Author: Anonymous Page 158

Beware my friend… you are skating on hot water.

Mixed metaphors

She has really plummeted to the top of the charts.

Malaprops

I will be brief… not nearly so brief as Salvador Dali, who gave the world's shortest speech; he said 'I will be so brief I have already finished,' and he sat down."

Communication Speech

They live so deep in the woods they kept possums as yard dogs.

Animals Expressions Places Situations

Booby Trap: A brassiere.

Definitions

X: The signature of a happy man.

Definitions

90% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Government Law Lawyers

Honesty: The fear of being caught.

Characteristics Definitions

“It’s twelve noon,” Tom chimed in.

Tom Swifties

“I’ve got another @#$%*! insect in my pants”, said Tom adamantly.

Tom Swifties

Average Person: One who thinks someone else is the average person.

Definitions People

Weed: A plant whose virtues have not been discovered.

Definitions

Make like a tree and head out.

Mixed metaphors

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Language Science/Weather

“I’m going after that red fish,” said Tom erringly.

Tom Swifties

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Miscellaneous

“It’s my maid’s night off,” said Tom helplessly.

Tom Swifties

Adolescence: When a boy has reached the state when he knows why a strapless gown must be held up, but doesn’t understand how.

Age Definitions

Efficiency Expert: A man smart enough to tell you how to run your business and too smart to start his own.

Definitions

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

Communication Speech

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Characteristics