Author: Anonymous Page 159

You are wise behind your ears.

Mixed metaphors

Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.

Definitions

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Definitions Occupations

Where would we be without rhetorical questions?

Communication

Business Lunch: Lunch.

Definitions Food/Drink

This is just a nightmare waiting to happen.

Mixed metaphors

Don't count all your eggs in one basket.

Mixed metaphors

He was a man of great statue.

Appearance Body Malaprops

The only difference between a “hair stylist” and a regular barber is the price.

Occupations Work

Keep your eyes pierced, it's got to be around here somewhere.

Malaprops

A fool and his money is a friend indeed.

Fools Friends Intelligence Money People

He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.

Definitions Occupations

Like a four-horned billy goat

Expressions

Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

Definitions Places

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Miscellaneous

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Definitions Family

A seven pound baby arrived last night to frighten the lives of Mr. and Mrs. Sherman Caswell.

Malaprops

You're sailing close to thin ice.

Mixed metaphors

Diplomat: A fellow who prefers ironing out his differences to flattening his opponent.

Definitions

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re probably broke.

Emotions Love Money