Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 159
You are wise behind your ears.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sunburn
Chef: Any cook who swears in French.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Chef
Where would we be without rhetorical questions?
Anonymous
Communication
Rhetorical questions
Business Lunch: Lunch.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Business Lunch
This is just a nightmare waiting to happen.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Don't count all your eggs in one basket.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
He was a man of great
statue.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Malaprops
Stature
The only difference between a “hair stylist” and a regular barber is the price.
Anonymous
Occupations
Work
Barber
Hair stylist
Keep your eyes
pierced,
it's got to be around here somewhere.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Peeled
A fool and his money is a friend indeed.
Anonymous
Fools
Friends
Intelligence
Money
People
He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.
Anonymous
Expressions
Intelligence
Stupidity
Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Like a four-horned billy goat
Anonymous
Expressions
Proud
Showing off
Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
Suburbia
Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Liberty
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Grandparents
A seven pound baby arrived last night to
frighten
the lives of Mr. and Mrs. Sherman Caswell.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Babies
Brighten
You're sailing close to thin ice.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Diplomat: A fellow who prefers ironing out his differences to flattening his opponent.
Anonymous
Definitions
Diplomat
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re probably broke.
Anonymous
Emotions
Love
Money
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