Author: Anonymous Page 159

The early worm is being picked first.

Mixed metaphors

Siamese Twins: First person plural.

Definitions People

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Definitions

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Definitions Marriage Wives

Stock Market: A popular game of chance in which moneyed speculators gamble with the nation’s economy, the object being to amass as much unearned income as possible before one’s fellow gamblers withdraw from the game and precipitate a nationwide depression.

Definitions Money

Major: Area of study that no longer interests you.

Definitions Education Learning

Couldn’t find his rear with his hands in his back pockets

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

Charity begins at home… at about 6:30, when they call you and interrupt your dinner.

Characteristics

Before I start speaking, I'd like to say something.

Misspokements Speech

Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist’s bills.

Definitions

The early bird gathers no moss.

Mixed metaphors

“Take me to the dance,” Mary bawled.

Tom Swifties

“He’s a boring chap,” said Tom indulgently.

Tom Swifties

Dieting: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.

Definitions Food/Drink

The [outdoor] sculpture park has opened its doors for the summer.

Mixed metaphors

Adolescence is the best substitute ever invented for experience.

Age

Philanthropist: One who returns to the people publicly what he steals from them privately.

Definitions People

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians.

Definitions Food/Drink

Snoring: Sound sleeping.

Definitions

Editor: The fellow who makes a long story short.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions