Author: Anonymous Page 159

They have come up with a perfect understanding; he won't try to run her life, and he won't try to run his, either.

Husbands Marriage Wives

Dirty laundry is coming home to roost.

Misspokements Mixed metaphors

An original idea can never emerge from committee in the original.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

They're a legend before their time.

Mixed metaphors

The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about.

Beliefs Children Family Intelligence Opinion

You can always tell luck from ability by its duration.

Success

It’s the best thing since sliced Spam.

Mixed metaphors

That politician is so crooked he can hide behind a corkscrew.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

It's got lots of installation.

Appearance Clothing Malaprops

Never say “Oops” always say “Ah, interesting!”

Communication Mistakes Problems Speech

Only in America can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box whilst a draft dodger lives in the White House.

America Places Situations

Teacher: A person who swore she would starve before teaching, and who has been doing both ever since.

Definitions Education

“I won’t finish in fifth place,” Tom held forth.

Tom Swifties

Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.

Definitions Marriage

When making picture frames, you’ll need a Midas box, so you can cut the angle right.

Malaprops

He lies so bad he hires somebody to call his dogs.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Lies

Auction: A place where, if you aren’t careful, you’ll get something for nodding.

Definitions

This is just a nightmare waiting to happen.

Mixed metaphors

“I hate math,” Tom added.

Tom Swifties

Stomach: The home of the swallow.

Definitions

It's a long road to hoe

Malaprops