Author: Anonymous Page 159

Insurance: A form of gambling in which we bet our chance of escaping disaster, and win only when we lose.

Flying saucers are just an optical conclusion.

“I’ve got a new watch,” Tom said with abandon.

Life: A breathing spell.

People seldom know what they want until you give them what they ask for.

“I feel so empty,” said Tom vacuously.

He knew how to butter his nest.

Acorn: An oak in a nutshell.

Celebrity: A person whose name is in everything but the telephone book.

Self-respect: The secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.

There is nothing so unbecoming on the beach as a wet kilt.

Four-wheel Drive: Getting stuck in more inaccessible places.

Hospitality: The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

Keep your eye to the grindstone.

Too slow to keep worms in a tin.

Bigamy is the only crime on the books where two rites make a wrong.

One way to get a real kick out of bridge is to sit opposite your wife.

Patron: A customer who doesn't ask prices.

Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

… has eaten into the grocery chain’s luxury food side.

Middle Age: A time of life when winking at a girl is closing one eye to reality.