Author: Anonymous Page 16

If you understand English, press 1; if you do not understand English, press 2.

It's like ice cold electricity passing through your body.

You can take that to the bank and smoke it.

There is no indigestion worse that that which comes from having to eat your own words.

“I haven’t had any tooth decay yet,” said Tom precariously.

Bridge: A game which gives women something to try to think about while they are talking.

Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.

User-Friendly: Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to its programmer.

“I won’t buy a circuit breaker,” Tom refused.

Adolescence: That period when children feel their parents should be told the facts of life.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

I'm flying by the edge of my seat.

A good idea is one that hits the other fellow with a bolt of envy.

Executive Suite: A sugar daddy.

Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.

Disrespect: Giving someone half of the peace sign without suggesting they’re number one.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Always try to be modest… and be VERY proud of it!

Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.

That’s a kettle of fish of a different color.