Author: Anonymous Page 16

Snoring: Sheet music.

Definitions Sleep Wordplay

The coffee has burned my face! I'm going to be distorted!

Appearance Malaprops

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Crime Definitions

Scholarly Debate: Feud for thought.

Communication Definitions

Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.

Definitions

He breathes through his nose to keep from wearing out his teeth.

Expressions Frugal

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth, about someone.

Communication Definitions

“I wonder if there’s a number between seven and nine,” said Tom considerately.

Tom Swifties

Civilization: A process whereby one generation finds the questions to the previous generation’s answers.

Definitions

She's skating on thin water.

Mixed metaphors

She is so stupid… when you said it was chilly outside she went and got a bowl.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Life is a box of cherries.

Mixed metaphors

“There’s room for one more,” Tom admitted.

Tom Swifties

Poise: The act of raising the eyebrows instead of the roof.

Definitions

Woman: A person who needs a shoe larger on the inside than outside.

Definitions People

“Europe needs more self-restraint,” said Tom continently.

Tom Swifties

Both of my children had the chicken pops when they were young.

Health Malaprops

Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.

Definitions Marriage

We certainly don't want to rock the apple cart.

Mixed metaphors

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.

Definitions Marriage

Life: A continuous series of disasters which result in one’s death.

Death Definitions Life