Author: Anonymous Page 16

Apathy: Vigor mortis.

Definitions

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

“There’s room for one more,” Tom admitted.

Tom Swifties

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Situations

Keep your ear to the grindstone.

Mixed metaphors

If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.

Insults Intelligence

He swept the rug under the carpet.

Mixed metaphors

“I’ll show you my illustrated Irish new testament,” said Tom bibliographically.

Tom Swifties

Fern: A plant that you’re supposed to water once a day, and when you don’t it dies, but if you do it dies anyway, only not so soon.

Definitions

Tackle that hurdle

Mixed metaphors

It's as plain as the egg on your face.

Mixed metaphors

The crust of the problem

Malaprops

.. drawing the eye… like a magnet

Mixed metaphors

“This tooth extraction could take for ever,” said Tom with infinite wisdom.

Tom Swifties

Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.

Definitions

Due process of elimination

Mixed metaphors

I'm not a pessimist, I'm an optometrist.

Malaprops

Bogey: The number of strokes needed to finish a hole by a golfer of average skill and above-average honesty.

Definitions Golf Sports

I have a lot of black sheep in my closet.

Mixed metaphors

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

You're pulling my leg over my eyes.

Mixed metaphors