Author: Anonymous Page 16

Dieting: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.

Definitions Food/Drink

Obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection.

Law Sex

The only reason she made it to the top was because her clothes didn't.

Appearance Body Clothing Success

She's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile.

Characteristics Malaprops

“I want to date other women,” said Tom unsteadily.

Tom Swifties

It was so cold… we didn't clean the house – we just defrosted it.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Bra: Decoration draped by your wife over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

Clothing Definitions

I thought she had persisted from corresponding with him.

Malaprops

Experience: What you get from being inexperienced.

Definitions

Good to be back on the old terracotta.

Malaprops

The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it.

Murphy’s Laws Time

He is so old… he owes Jesus a quarter.

Age Exaggerations Old

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

Characteristics Intelligence

Beer… so much more than just a breakfast drink.

Beer Food/Drink

Never put all your eggs in one omelet.

Mixed metaphors

That was the last hump on the camel.

Mixed metaphors

A committee of three gets things done if two don’t show up.

Murphy’s Laws People

Fat: Energy gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat

“I have three houses, and I’m going to buy another,” said Tom forebodingly.

Tom Swifties

I.O.U.: A type of paper wait.

Definitions

Venereal Disease: Germs of endearment.

Definitions Health