Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 16
Snoring: Sheet music.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sleep
Wordplay
Snoring
The coffee has burned my face! I'm going to be
distorted!
Anonymous
Appearance
Malaprops
Disfigured
Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.
Anonymous
Crime
Definitions
Convict
Scholarly Debate: Feud for thought.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Scholarly Debate
Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.
Anonymous
Definitions
Cannibal
He breathes through his nose to keep from wearing out his teeth.
Anonymous
Expressions
Frugal
Slander: To lie, or tell the truth, about someone.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Slander
“I wonder if there’s a number between seven and nine,” said Tom considerately.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Civilization: A process whereby one generation finds the questions to the previous generation’s answers.
Anonymous
Definitions
Civilization
She's skating on thin water.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
She is so stupid… when you said it was chilly outside she went and got a bowl.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Intelligence
Stupidity
Life is a box of cherries.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“There’s room for one more,” Tom admitted.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Poise: The act of raising the eyebrows instead of the roof.
Anonymous
Definitions
Poise
Woman: A person who needs a shoe larger on the inside than outside.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Woman
“Europe needs more self-restraint,” said Tom continently.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Both of my children had the chicken
pops
when they were young.
Anonymous
Health
Malaprops
Chicken pox
Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
We certainly don't want to rock the apple cart.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Life: A continuous series of disasters which result in one’s death.
Anonymous
Death
Definitions
Life
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