Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Anonymous Page 16
If you understand English, press 1; if you do not understand English, press 2.
Anonymous
Communication
Language
Misspokements
Recorded message on an Australian tax helpline
It's like ice cold electricity passing through your body.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
You can take that to the bank and smoke it.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
There is no indigestion worse that that which comes from having to eat your own words.
Anonymous
Communication
Eating your own words
Indigestion
“I haven’t had any tooth decay yet,” said Tom precariously.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Bridge: A game which gives women something to try to think about while they are talking.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Games
Bridge
Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sex
Nymphomania
If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
Anonymous
Insults
Intelligence
User-Friendly: Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to its programmer.
Anonymous
Computers
Definitions
Things
User-Friendly
“I won’t buy a circuit breaker,” Tom refused.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Adolescence: That period when children feel their parents should be told the facts of life.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Adolescence
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Anonymous
Housework
Work
Sweep
I'm flying by the edge of my seat.
Anonymous
Misspokements
A good idea is one that hits the other fellow with a bolt of envy.
Anonymous
Ideas
Intelligence
Envy
Executive Suite: A sugar daddy.
Anonymous
Definitions
Executive Suite
Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.
Anonymous
Definitions
Campers
Mosquitoes
Disrespect: Giving someone half of the peace sign without suggesting they’re number one.
Anonymous
Definitions
Disrespect
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Anonymous
Definitions
Etc.
Always try to be modest… and be VERY proud of it!
Anonymous
Characteristics
Modesty
Pride
Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Tact
That’s a kettle of fish of a different color.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Page 16 of 161
« First
« Previous
14
15
16
17
18
Next »
Last »