Author: Anonymous Page 16

Snoring: Sheet music.

The coffee has burned my face! I'm going to be distorted!

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Scholarly Debate: Feud for thought.

Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.

He breathes through his nose to keep from wearing out his teeth.

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth, about someone.

“I wonder if there’s a number between seven and nine,” said Tom considerately.

Civilization: A process whereby one generation finds the questions to the previous generation’s answers.

She's skating on thin water.

She is so stupid… when you said it was chilly outside she went and got a bowl.

Life is a box of cherries.

“There’s room for one more,” Tom admitted.

Poise: The act of raising the eyebrows instead of the roof.

Woman: A person who needs a shoe larger on the inside than outside.

“Europe needs more self-restraint,” said Tom continently.

Both of my children had the chicken pops when they were young.

Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.

We certainly don't want to rock the apple cart.

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.

Life: A continuous series of disasters which result in one’s death.