Author: Anonymous Page 16

Friend: A good friend is like a good bra… hard to find, supportive, comfortable, and always close to your heart.

Definitions Friends People

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Crime Definitions

It’s like pulling the teeth from a hen.

Mixed metaphors

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Communication Health Language Reading/Writing

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

Definitions Marriage

“We’re off to Scotland,” said Tom clandestinely.

Tom Swifties

Absolute Pitch: Completely dark.

Definitions

He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.

Frugal Miscellaneous Money

Arson: Fire caused by friction between the insurance policy and the mortgage.

Definitions

Diaphragm: A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

Body Definitions Health

“Your fly is undone,” was Tom’s zippy rejoinder.

Tom Swifties

Your being Sir Anthony's son, would itself be a sufficient accommodation.

Malaprops

Tailor: An occupation that suits everyone.

Definitions Occupations Work

Justice: A decision in your favor.

Definitions

Venereal Disease: Germs of endearment.

Definitions Health

They downloaded the strength of the hurricane.

Malaprops

Can’t act. Slightly bald. Also dances.

Reviews/Criticism

“It’s twelve noon,” Tom chimed in.

Tom Swifties

Automated: A couple making love in a car.

Definitions

Sleeping Bag: A nap sack.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Altar: Place where a man loses control of himself.

Definitions Marriage