Author: Anonymous Page 160

Microsoft™ is thoroughly dropping the ball on that front.

Mixed metaphors

My mind is an open slate.

Mixed metaphors

Expert: A man who is seldom in doubt, but often in error.

Definitions

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

Detour: Something that lengthens your mileage, diminishes your gas, and strengthens your vocabulary.

Activities Definitions Travel

Walking with your head between your legs.

Mixed metaphors

“I’ve got sand in my dinner,” said Tom grittily.

Tom Swifties

Tears: Remorse code.

Definitions Wordplay

Analysis: An excuse to take something to pieces to see how it works.

Definitions

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

Epigram: A half-truth so stated to irritate the person who believes the other half.

Definitions

“I like ragged margins,” said Tom without justification.

Tom Swifties

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Communication Definitions Speech

A dirty book is rarely dusty.

Books Communication Reading/Writing Sex

Gorilla see, gorilla do.

Mixed metaphors

Abscond: To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

Crime Definitions

Nothing out of the unusual

Mixed metaphors

“I have lost all my Hungarian sheet music,” said Tom listlessly.

Tom Swifties

Altar-Boy: A type of bicycle accident.

Definitions

Maps: The shorthand of geography.

Definitions