Author: Anonymous Page 160

She's tall enough to go duck huntin' with a rake.

Appearance Body Expressions

“Are you all governors?” Tom asked, bored.

Tom Swifties

They have come up with a perfect understanding; he won't try to run her life, and he won't try to run his, either.

Husbands Marriage Wives

“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.

Tom Swifties

We may never know exactly how much others know about us, but we can always suspect it.

People Self

We're going to get locked into a corner.

Mixed metaphors

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

The scripts needs to be kept in sink.

Malaprops

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Hey, I hope you can help me, I’m kind of up against the gun here.

Mixed metaphors

Borrower: A man who tries to live within your means.

Definitions

Doorman: A genius who can open the door of your car with one hand, help you in with the other, and still have one left for the tip.

Definitions Occupations

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People

Diplomat: A person who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Definitions

You can’t go in there cold turkey with egg on your face.

Mixed metaphors

“Would anyone like some Parmesan?” asked Tom gratingly.

Tom Swifties

“I just got a job putting up steel girders!” Tom beamed.

Tom Swifties

Wild whores could not drag me away.

Malaprops

His head is so big… he has to step into his shirts.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

Cannibals are not vegetarians, they are humanitarians.

Food/Drink People

“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.

Tom Swifties