Author: Anonymous Page 161

He couldn’t grow pole beans in a pile of horse shit.

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

His head is so big… he has to step into his shirts.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

Flood: A river too big for its bridges.

Definitions

Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No Hard Feelings.”

Definitions Sex

An original idea can never emerge from committee in the original.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

Definitions Occupations

“Oops, I’ve ripped my pants!” was Tom’s unseemly comment.

Tom Swifties

Apparently: As either mother or father would do it.

Definitions

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Characteristics

“I’m the butcher’s assistant,” said Tom cuttingly.

Tom Swifties

Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in!

Situations