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Educated Man: One who has finally discovered that there are some questions to which nobody has the answers.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

She couldn’t catch a cold if it had handles.

Expressions

Inertia: Tendency of a skier’s body to resist changes in direction or speed due to the action of Newton’s First Law of Motion.

Definitions Science/Weather

Regret: Insight that comes a day too late.

Definitions

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Age Beliefs Honesty Lies

“The policeman charged me twenty bucks for speeding,” said Tom finally.

Tom Swifties

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.

Definitions Future Time

I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.

Language Science/Weather

Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty.

Definitions Government

Vice: A function to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.

Definitions

I'm flying by the edge of my seat.

Misspokements