Author: Anonymous Page 17

Doctor: Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he knew.

Definitions Doctors Health

Anatomy: Something that everyone has, but it looks better on a girl.

Appearance Body Definitions

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Characteristics Men People Women

Rattle some feathers.

Mixed metaphors

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more.

Activities Definitions

“Take me to the dance,” Mary bawled.

Tom Swifties

Some people pay their bills when due, some when overdue, and some never do.

Money

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Definitions Future Time

I have a lot of black sheep in my closet.

Mixed metaphors

Hobby: Something you do to have fun whether you enjoy it or not.

Activities Definitions

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

Amateur Athlete: An athlete who is paid in cash, not by check..

Definitions

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

Definitions Golf Sports

An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don’t win many accuracy contests, but they keep the crowd’s attention.

People

It's on the tip of my frontal lobotomy.

Mixed metaphors

It is so hot… I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

Communication Definitions

We'd like a room with a southern explosion.

Malaprops

Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Mistakes Problems

“This fabric is not good enough to make a bolero,” said Tom unravellingly.

Tom Swifties