Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 17
Doctor: Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he knew.
Anonymous
Definitions
Doctors
Health
Anatomy: Something that everyone has, but it looks better on a girl.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Definitions
Anatomy
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Men
People
Women
Ambition
Equality
Rattle some feathers.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Driving
Occupations
Bus Driver
Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Air Travel
“Take me to the dance,” Mary bawled.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Some people pay their bills when due, some when overdue, and some never do.
Anonymous
Money
Bills
Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
Anonymous
Definitions
Future
Time
Tomorrow
I have a lot of black sheep in my closet.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Hobby: Something you do to have fun whether you enjoy it or not.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Hobby
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Anonymous
Definitions
Committee
Amateur Athlete: An athlete who is paid in cash, not by check..
Anonymous
Definitions
Amateur Athlete
Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.
Anonymous
Definitions
Golf
Sports
Handicapped Golfer
An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don’t win many accuracy contests, but they keep the crowd’s attention.
Anonymous
People
Economic forecasters
Economy
It's on the tip of my frontal lobotomy.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
It is so hot… I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
Post Office: U.S. Snail.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Mail
Post Office
We'd like a room with a southern
explosion.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Exposure
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.
Anonymous
Mistakes
Problems
Multitasking
“This fabric is not good enough to make a bolero,” said Tom unravellingly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Page 17 of 161
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