Author: Anonymous Page 17

Graffiti: Urban scrawl.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.

Murphy’s Laws Success Things

Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.

Definitions Health Wordplay

Underwear: An article of clothing which, when kept clean, ensures the wearer will never have an accident.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

“Sorry about that butt call,” he said cheekily.

Tom Swifties

Alimony: The sum of money a man is commanded to pay his ex-wife in exchange for the pleasure of having her live under a separate roof.

Definitions Marriage

“It’s my personal magnetism,” said Tom ironically.

Tom Swifties

“The situation is grave,” Tom said cryptically.

Tom Swifties

“Wool is better than cotton,” Tom said sheepishly.

Tom Swifties

Teenagers: People who get hungry again before the dishes are even washed.

Age Definitions

Parking Space: An unoccupied place on the other side of the street.

Definitions

Middle age: When a woman’s hair starts turning from gray to black.

Age Appearance Definitions Hair

Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.

Definitions

Adolescence: When a boy has reached the state when he knows why a strapless gown must be held up, but doesn’t understand how.

Age Definitions

Medical Insurance: What allows people to be ill at ease.

Wordplay

I am sure I have done everything in my power since I exploded the affair.

Malaprops

“For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful,” said Tom gracefully.

Tom Swifties

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

Appearance Body Definitions

When arguing with a stupid person, be sure he isn’t doing the same thing.

Fools Intelligence

Invitro Fertilization: The innoculate conception.

Definitions

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly