Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 17
Graffiti: Urban scrawl.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Reading/Writing
Graffiti
Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.
Anonymous
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Things
Inanimate objects
Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Wordplay
Penicillin
Underwear: An article of clothing which, when kept clean, ensures the wearer will never have an accident.
Anonymous
Appearance
Clothing
Definitions
Underwear
“Sorry about that butt call,” he said cheekily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Alimony: The sum of money a man is commanded to pay his ex-wife in exchange for the pleasure of having her live under a separate roof.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Alimony
“It’s my personal magnetism,” said Tom ironically.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“The situation is grave,” Tom said cryptically.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Wool is better than cotton,” Tom said sheepishly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Teenagers: People who get hungry again before the dishes are even washed.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Parking Space: An unoccupied place on the other side of the street.
Anonymous
Definitions
Parking Space
Middle age: When a woman’s hair starts turning from gray to black.
Anonymous
Age
Appearance
Definitions
Hair
Middle age
Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.
Anonymous
Definitions
Anonymous
Adolescence: When a boy has reached the state when he knows why a strapless gown must be held up, but doesn’t understand how.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Adolescence
Medical Insurance: What allows people to be ill at ease.
Anonymous
Wordplay
Medical Insurance
I am sure I have done everything in my power since I
exploded
the affair.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Exposed
“For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful,” said Tom gracefully.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Definitions
Curve
When arguing with a stupid person, be sure he isn’t doing the same thing.
Anonymous
Fools
Intelligence
Invitro Fertilization: The innoculate conception.
Anonymous
Definitions
Invitro Fertilization
He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Ugly
Page 17 of 161
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