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Window Screen: A device for keeping flies in the house.

Definitions Things

I'd walk a mile in a camel's shoes to pass through the eye of a needle.

Mixed metaphors

“You must be my host,” Tom guessed.

Tom Swifties

“The executioner has received the tool he needs”, said Tom with a heavy accent.

Tom Swifties

Gardening: Man’s effort to improve his lot.

Activities Definitions

The guy literally flew down the stairs!

Malaprops

“Europe needs more self-restraint,” said Tom continently.

Tom Swifties

The sacred cows have come home to roost with a vengeance.

Mixed metaphors

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Well, that’s water under the dam.

Mixed metaphors

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's too late to close the barn door.

Mixed metaphors

Justice: A decision in your favor.

Definitions

Absolute Pitch: Completely dark.

Definitions

A good idea is one that hits the other fellow with a bolt of envy.

Ideas Intelligence

You can lead a gift horse to water but you can't look him in the mouth.

Mixed metaphors

It is so hot… I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

“I have a BA in social work,” said Tom with a degree of concern.

Tom Swifties

When sleeping dogs fly.

Mixed metaphors

Everybody had some antidotes to tell.

Malaprops Speech

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

People

“Can I go looking for the Grail again?” Tom requested.

Tom Swifties