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Consultant: Someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Definitions

Bowling: Marbles for grown-ups.

Activities Definitions

Education: One of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Definitions Education

I want to be sure we don't build ourselves a bag of worms.

Mixed metaphors

Swingin' my legs from a dime

Expressions

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Middle Age: When your age starts to show around your middle the art of raising eyebrows instead of the roof. 

Age Definitions

Adolescence: When a boy has reached the state when he knows why a strapless gown must be held up, but doesn’t understand how.

Age Definitions

“This is the wrong tree,” Tom barked, as he climbed up.

Tom Swifties

“Doctor, why do you have to remove my womb?” asked Mary hysterically.

Tom Swifties

Tolerance: That uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow might be right after all.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Aground: When a boat makes the discovery that all water has land under it.

Definitions

People have one thing in common: they are all different.

People

Violinist: A high-strung musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Abash: A high school graduation party.

Definitions

Fiddling with his guitar

Mixed metaphors

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions

Some people pay their bills when due, some when overdue, and some never do.

Money

Childish Games: Those at which your wife beats you.

Activities Definitions Games

Gigolo: A fee-male.

Definitions Wordplay

April 1: The day we are reminded of what we are the other 364.

Definitions Fools Intelligence