Author: Anonymous Page 19

“I wish I could remember the name of that card game,” said Tom wistfully.

Tom Swifties

The future of the church depends on passing the torch to the next generation.

Mixed metaphors

“My wife is going to have a test tube baby”, Tom injected artificially.

Tom Swifties

Married at the hip

Mixed metaphors

Tomorrow: What always comes but never arrives.

Definitions Future Time

Life’s all about ass – covering it, kicking it, kissing it or trying to get it.

Life

“Watch this insect sail through the air,” said Tom flippantly.

Tom Swifties

“There’s no place for the kitchen sink,” said Tom counterproductively.

Tom Swifties

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Activities Beer Food/Drink

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?

Food/Drink Situations

Is this a whole nother bucket of worms?

Mixed metaphors

Never let a child wearing Superman pajamas sleep on the top bunk.

Children Family

A fool and his money is a friend indeed.

Fools Friends Intelligence Money People

Carpet: A floor covering that is bought by the yard and worn by the foot.

Definitions

I’m gonna dig in my feet on this one.

Mixed metaphors

He’s a bad influenza on me.

Malaprops

“There’s room for one more,” Tom admitted.

Tom Swifties

Happier than a pig in slop

Emotions Expressions Happiness

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

I went skiing last week and broke a leg… fortunately it wasn’t mine.

Sports