Author: Anonymous Page 2

The world is your lobster.

Mixed metaphors

“Aha! Here’s someone who can’t speak!” exclaimed Tom dumbfoundedly.

Tom Swifties

Jesus loves him, but he is the only one.

Expressions

This is up my wheelhouse.

Mixed metaphors

They think they can do the portrait in one setting.

Malaprops Situations

It's like locking the barn door after the nuts have bolted.

Mixed metaphors

She is so ugly… when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Sterile Solution: Vasectomy.

Definitions

“Those cobs are amazing!” said Tom cornily.

Tom Swifties

“Congratulations; you graduated,” said Tom diplomatically.

Tom Swifties

Umbrella: A shelter for one and a shower for two.

Definitions Things

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two.

Communication Wordplay

Arabs wear turbines on their heads.

Clothing Malaprops

We'll mend that fence when we get to it.

Mixed metaphors

“Goodbye, and thanks for the radio”, said Tom with a short wave.

Tom Swifties

“Who is this Tom Swifty character anyway?” asked Tom unselfconsciously.

Tom Swifties

Both of my children had the chicken pops when they were young.

Health Malaprops

She is so stupid… she stared at an orange juice carton for twenty minutes because the label said "concentrate."

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

They tried to make me the escape goat.

Malaprops

“Eating garbage is a form of recycling, but I can’t eat any more,” said Tom wastefully.

Tom Swifties

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions