Author: Anonymous Page 2

Parents: One of the hardships of a minor’s life.

Definitions Family Parents

Chivalry: The attitude of a man toward somebody else’s wife.

Definitions

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two being goulash and squid.

Definitions Food/Drink

We will burn that horse when we get there.

Mixed metaphors

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

Definitions Occupations Work

“These propulsion systems were used by NASA on moon rockets,” said Tom apologetically.

Tom Swifties

You can beat a dead horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

Mixed metaphors

“Who is this Tom Swifty character anyway?” asked Tom unselfconsciously.

Tom Swifties

Home: A place where a man is free to say anything he pleases because no one pays any attention to him.

Definitions Places

She plummeted the deaths of inequity.

Malaprops

Footnote: Useless information placed where you can skip it.

Definitions

White Lie: Aversion of the truth.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies Truth

He reads like a fish.

Mixed metaphors

They live in a two-storage house.

Malaprops

They’re diabolically opposed.

Malaprops

Take Home Pay: An amount of money which is called that because it is never big enough to go anywhere else with it.

Definitions Money

As we consider the road that unfolds before us.

Mixed metaphors

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

Tom Swifties

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.

Definitions Things

The world is your lobster.

Mixed metaphors