Author: Anonymous Page 2

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness.

Misspokements

Stomach: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

Body Definitions

He'll take your head off at the blink of a hat.

Mixed metaphors

After-Dinner Speaker: A fellow who rises to the occasion – and then stands too long.

Definitions

“There must be a power cut,” said Tom delightedly.

Tom Swifties

Amusement Park: A walled city populated mainly by teenagers, who willingly pay to have their bodies and brains agitated on a variety of fiendish contraptions designed to induce vomiting.

Definitions

Cannibals are not vegetarians, they are humanitarians.

Food/Drink People

He is so old… his social security number is 6.

Age Exaggerations Old

“How do you start a model-T Ford without a battery?” asked Tom crankily.

Tom Swifties

Communist: One who has yearnings for equal division of unequal earnings.

Definitions

What happened to the first 6 “ups?”

Communication Food/Drink Language

Taking over the reigns of leadership.

Malaprops

Accordion Music: Noise that comes from playing both ends against the middle.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Ignorance is golden.

Mixed metaphors

Free Verse: Verse written without rhyme or reason.

Definitions Reading/Writing

Experience: The name an older man gives to his mistakes.

Definitions Mistakes

“I’m losing my hair,” Tom bawled.

Tom Swifties

“I wrote the book on that subject”, said Tom authoritatively.

Tom Swifties

Don't put all your chickens in one basket.

Mixed metaphors

Wood fires help fuel climate change.

Mixed metaphors

Now that the ball is in our court, let's go for the touchdown.

Mixed metaphors