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Virus: A Latin medical term meaning, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Definitions Health

“I have to check the score on this exam again,” Tom remarked.

Tom Swifties

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Communication Wordplay

Newlywed: A man who puts up the storm windows the first time his wife suggests it.

Definitions Marriage

Farmer: A handy man with a sense of humus.

Definitions Wordplay

Agent: Someone who believes an actor takes 85 percent of his money.

Acting Definitions Entertainment

They think they can do the portrait in one setting.

Malaprops

“It’s only average,” said Tom meanly.

Tom Swifties

Experience: What you get from being inexperienced.

Definitions

Contract: An agreement to do something if nothing happens to prevent it.

Definitions

Girdle: The difference between fact and figure.

Appearance Body Clothing Definitions

Cross-Eyed Teacher: A teacher that loses control over his or her pupils.

Definitions

“There’s a high charge for supporters traveling by coach,” said Tom with considerable fanfare.

Tom Swifties

“I’ve got to stop this motor,” Tom choked.

Tom Swifties

Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.

Definitions Government Taxes

Around here, it's always feast or phantom.

Malaprops

Demagogue: A man who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

Definitions

He is so ugly… when he walks into the bank they turn off the cameras.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Diplomat: A fellow who prefers ironing out his differences to flattening his opponent.

Definitions

“Everything Albert says is so obvious”, said Tom altruistically.

Tom Swifties

Arson: Fire caused by friction between the insurance policy and the mortgage.

Definitions