Author: Anonymous Page 20

It's like ice cold electricity passing through your body.

Mixed metaphors

I invented a new word – “plagiarism.”

Communication Language Wordplay

“I am so one of the seven dwarfs!” he said grumpily.

Tom Swifties

Discretion: A sense that comes to a man too late to do him any good.

Definitions

Artist’s Model: A girl unsuited for her work.

Definitions

Selfishness: A state of mine.

Definitions

Everybody and his dog was there.

Expressions People

Those people all corregated over there.

Malaprops

Slogan: A good old American substitute for the facts.

Definitions

You hit the nail on the dot.

Mixed metaphors

“Ought I to do this?” asked Tom with a shudder.

Tom Swifties

Atomic Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Definitions

Isn't it nice to not have to look over our backs anymore?

Mixed metaphors

Three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Definitions Men Sex

Gentleman: A man who remembers a woman’s birthday but forgets her age.

Definitions Men People

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians.

Definitions Food/Drink

“That’s especially stupid!” said Tom superciliously.

Tom Swifties

The history of the aquatics center shows… that the games’ organizers seem to be willing to spend money like water.

Mixed metaphors

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

Definitions

They'll never buy the cow if they can get the eggs for free.

Mixed metaphors

“Are you all governors?” Tom asked, bored.

Tom Swifties