Author: Anonymous Page 20

Petting: The study of anatomy in braille.

Definitions Sex

“It has zero height, zero width, and just a little depth,” said Tom, stretching the point.

Tom Swifties

Toupée: Top secret.

Definitions

Budget: A schedule for going into debt systematically.

Definitions

Luck: An explanation for the other fellows’ success.

Definitions

It's got lots of installation.

Appearance Clothing Malaprops

You dug your bed, you lie in it.

Mixed metaphors

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Appearance Body Definitions

English Channel: The BBC.

Definitions Entertainment Television

You were at your wit’s nerve.

Mixed metaphors

“I cut off the bottoms of my Levis so they won’t drag on the ground,” said Tom hygienically.

Tom Swifties

Cricket: A game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity.

Definitions Sports

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.

Definitions Future Time

He ran a cottage industry from his garden shed.

Mixed metaphors

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

Communication Conversation Entertainment Speech

Agnostic: A person who says that he knows nothing about God and, when you agree with him, he becomes angry.

Beliefs Definitions God

It dawned across my head.

Mixed metaphors

Nursery: Bawl room.

Definitions

Linguist: A person who can be misunderstood in many languages.

Communication Definitions Language

That’s a kettle of fish of a different color.

Mixed metaphors

Roulette: A wheel that seldom takes a turn for the bettor.

Activities Definitions Games