Author: Anonymous Page 20

Racehorse: A barn athlete.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Experience: A form of knowledge acquired only two ways: by doing and being done.

Definitions

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar.

Autos Definitions Things

“I want to date other women,” said Tom unsteadily.

Tom Swifties

Pedal stool.

Malaprops

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

You have to walk before you can swim.

Mixed metaphors

“I’m embarrassed,” Tom admitted readily.

Tom Swifties

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents.

Animals Definitions

Obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection.

Law Sex

White Lie: Aversion of the truth.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies Truth

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time

Bargain: Something you can’t use, at a price you can’t resist.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.

Definitions Government Taxes

Is that going to throw a wrinkle?

Mixed metaphors

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

People Sex Women

“I bought myself fifty hamburgers and I’ve only ten left,” said Tom with fortitude.

Tom Swifties

Brain: The apparatus with which we think we think.

Body Definitions

Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.

Definitions

Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job, who tells you how to do your job.

Definitions People Work

Tougher than a boiled owl.

Expressions