Author: Anonymous Page 20

She's not wearing enough clothes to flag a hand car.

Appearance Clothing Expressions

What in the Sam Hill are you doing?

Miscellaneous

Liberal: A man who feel’s it’s his responsibility to spend a Conservative’s money.

Beliefs Definitions People

Bigamy is the only crime on the books where two rites make a wrong.

Marriage

Heredity: The bad traits a child gets from the other side of the family.

Definitions Family

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time

Tailor: An occupation that suits everyone.

Definitions Occupations Work

Life: A sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.

Definitions Life

“Why is this telephone flex always tangled?” asked Tom coyly.

Tom Swifties

Deterrence: The art of producing, in the mind of the enemy, the fear to attack.

Definitions

The lining's always more silver on the other side of the cloud.

Mixed metaphors

Farmer: The only man who can lose money every year, live well, educate his children, and then die rich.

Definitions

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

“I’m falling into a void,” said Tom flawlessly.

Tom Swifties

That guy is a wolf in cheap clothing.

Mixed metaphors

My mind is an open slate.

Mixed metaphors

He'll take your head off at the blink of a hat.

Mixed metaphors

“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.

Tom Swifties

Kiss: What the child gets free, the young man steals, and the old man buys.

Definitions

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Family Relationships Science/Weather

A salesman told viewers that a keyboard would teach your mind's eye to play by ear.

Mixed metaphors