Author: Anonymous Page 21

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Communication Law Speech

Fitness: Salvation through perspiration.

Definitions

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Definitions Wordplay

It was so cold… my shadow froze to the sidewalk.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Civilization: A process whereby one generation finds the questions to the previous generation’s answers.

Definitions

“Would you stop horsing around!” yelled Tom woefully.

Tom Swifties

Colleague: The person to whom one passes the buck.

Definitions

“This pencil tip is dull,” she said pointedly.

Tom Swifties

You buttered your bread, now sleep in it!

Mixed metaphors

Academy Awards: A place where everyone lets off esteem.

Definitions

“I will now demonstrate how to dissect a sheep,” delivered Tom.

Tom Swifties

Antique: An object that has made a round trip to the attic.

Definitions Things

Nepotism: A form of favoritism – relatively speaking.

Definitions Family

Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: never repeat yourself.

Miscellaneous

“This is the fastest way to get drunk,” said Tom quixotically.

Tom Swifties

You've put your finger right on the nail.

Mixed metaphors

Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Definitions

Bore: A person who takes his time taking your time.

Definitions

She’s not the toughest cookie on the block.

Mixed metaphors