Author: Anonymous Page 21

Inside every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out.

Books Communication

Are you getting the jest of this?

Malaprops

“This oar is broken,” said Tom robustly.

Tom Swifties

Whistle: Wind having a narrow escape.

Definitions

Beyond the question of a doubt

Mixed metaphors

It's time to grab the bull by the tail and look it in the eye.

Mixed metaphors

She is so fat… when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Retirement means twice as much husband on half as much money.

Marriage Money Wives Work

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

Tom Swifties

I got a run in my neon stockings.

Clothing Malaprops

Too slow to keep worms in a tin.

Intelligence People Stupidity

Well tie me to an anthill and fill my ears with jam!

Expressions

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

Fools Intelligence People

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Definitions Law

Auditor: A person who goes in after the war is lost to bayonet the wounded.

Definitions Occupations

It's got lots of installation.

Appearance Clothing Malaprops

“Ignore the first three turnings,” directed Tom forthrightly.

Tom Swifties

Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Pedal stool.

Malaprops

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.

Expressions Heat Science/Weather