Author: Anonymous Page 21

Kin: An affliction of the blood.

Definitions Family

A communist is one who has nothing and wishes to share it with the world.

Government People

Silence: Having nothing to say and saying it.

Communication Definitions Situations Speech

Experience: A form of knowledge acquired only two ways: by doing and being done.

Definitions

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

Science/Weather Situations

Yearbook: A book of pictures that get nerdier with time.

Definitions

Did you hear what they feel?

Mixed metaphors

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Life Money

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Characteristics

Conference: An organized way of postponing a decision.

Definitions

“Eating garbage is a form of recycling, but I can’t eat any more,” said Tom wastefully.

Tom Swifties

Whether the glass is half-full or half empty, depends on whether you are drinking or pouring.

Situations

It takes a real talent to be able to apologize in a manner that makes the offended person feel guilty.

Characteristics Communication

I just asked you what time it was, not how a watch works.

Communication Expressions

It was so cold… I chipped a tooth on my soup.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

It is so hot… the cows arre giving evaporated milk.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Tube Dress: A dress which is an extended boob tube.

Clothing Definitions

Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work

Widow: A woman who knows her husband’s whereabouts at all times.

Definitions Marriage

He was lookin' at me like a country mule lookin at a freight train.

Expressions

The menu was frozen in the amber of 1973.

Mixed metaphors