Author: Anonymous Page 22

“Lights, camera, action!” Tom said directly.

Tom Swifties

Baby: An inhabitant of Lapland.

Children Definitions Family

“I have to fix the car,” said Tom mechanically.

Tom Swifties

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Language Science/Weather

“Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I sleep in a wigwam; Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends I sleep in a teepee”, said Tom very attentively.

Tom Swifties

Umbrella: A shelter for one and a shower for two.

Definitions Things

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

Clothing Definitions

Smile: To expose a portion of one’s skeleton as a gesture of goodwill toward a fellow human.

Definitions

I've been up and down like a light switch.

Mixed metaphors

Just give me a shave… I haven’t time to listen to a haircut.

Communication Speech Time

You can’t have your hill and die on it too.

Mixed metaphors

Pessimist: A person who looks at a doughnut and sees nothing but the hole.

Definitions

Derange: Where de buffalo roam.

Definitions

Reducing: Wishful shrinking.

Appearance Body Definitions Wordplay

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I.O.U.: A type of paper wait.

Definitions

Conference: A meeting at which people talk about what they should already be doing.

Definitions

Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Definitions

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents.

Animals Definitions

Don’t eat with your mouth full!

Mixed metaphors