Author: Anonymous Page 22

Violinist: A high-strung musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

“Okay, you can switch on the electric chair now,” said Tom conceitedly.

Tom Swifties

Academy Awards: A place where everyone lets off esteem.

Definitions

Propaganda: Patriotism as practiced by our enemies.

Communication Definitions

Education: What you have left over when you subtract what you’ve forgotten from what you learned.

Definitions Education

Forget that guy – just illiterate him from your memory.

Malaprops Memory

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People

“I chop down trees for a living,” said Tom lumberingly.

Tom Swifties

Fruitcake: The gift that keeps on giving.

Definitions

I’m getting up on my feedbox here.

Mixed metaphors

He's going up and down like a metronome.

Malaprops

Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work

He's got a face like the north end of a south bound cow.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.

Characteristics Marriage Men

Organic Farm: Tilling like it is.

Definitions

Slogan: A good old American substitute for the facts.

Definitions

Flirtation: Paying attention without intention.

Definitions

Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.

People

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

Insults Sex

Never believe anything until it's been officially denied.

Beliefs Communication

She is so ugly… she has to trick or treat over the phone.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly