Author: Anonymous Page 23

Bride: A gal who puts her foot down as soon as her new husband has carried her over the threshold.

Definitions Marriage Wives

I'm shooting from the seat of my pants.

Mixed metaphors

Easy: Used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

Definitions People Sex Women

That politician is so crooked he can hide behind a corkscrew.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

“My giant sea creature died,” Tom wailed blubberingly.

Tom Swifties

Many nations adopt a tit for tit policy.

Malaprops

Goin’ around your ass to get to your elbow

Expressions

“Can I become a chorister?” Tom inquired.

Tom Swifties

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

Fools Intelligence People

It's like pulling hen's teeth.

Mixed metaphors

But I don't have an intricate relationship with it.

Malaprops

Euphemisms: Unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.

Definitions

The philosophy exam was a piece of cake… which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

Education School

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of justice for all

Mixed metaphors

He is not the sharpest cookie in the jar.

Mixed metaphors

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Definitions Money

Birthdays are nice to have, but too many of them will kill a person.

Age

“I was the first to climb Mount Everest,” said Tom hilariously.

Tom Swifties

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

Age Definitions

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God

A communist is one who has nothing and wishes to share it with the world.

Government People