Author: Anonymous Page 25

As we consider the road that unfolds before us.

Mixed metaphors

“My fellow Americans,” boomed Ronald Reagan, “I have just signed legislation to outlaw the state of Russia for ever…”

Tom Swifties

Righteous Indignation: Your own wrath, as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

Anger Definitions Emotions

“Get out of here!” said Tom believingly.

Tom Swifties

“How long will I have to wait for a table?” asked Tom without reservation.

Tom Swifties

Flattery is telling people exactly what they think of themselves.

Characteristics People Self

I'm traveling incoherent.

Malaprops

“Doctor, why do you have to remove my womb?” asked Mary hysterically.

Tom Swifties

… just to relieve the monopoly.

Malaprops Situations

Educated Man: One who has finally discovered that there are some questions to which nobody has the answers.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Senility: The pleasantly rueful experience of forgetting what we’ve forgotten.

Age Definitions Intelligence Memory Old

“Watch this insect sail through the air,” said Tom flippantly.

Tom Swifties

A rolling stone kills no birds.

Mixed metaphors

Prostitute: A busy body.

Definitions

Alarm clock: An instrument used to wake up people who have no kids.

Children Definitions Family Things

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

Alcohol Definitions

It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

He used to kiss her on her lips, but it's all over now.

Situations

Budget: A family quarrel.

Definitions

I've been up and down like a light switch.

Mixed metaphors

Oh, for I minute there, I thought I was illuminating.

Malaprops