Author: Anonymous Page 26

“How long will I have to wait for a table?” asked Tom without reservation.

Tom Swifties

What a messy house. How can they live in such squander.

Malaprops

Talk about rubbing salt in the fire!

Mixed metaphors

We should continue to ride the horse that brings in the gravy.

Mixed metaphors

She had a seashore disorder.

Health Malaprops

B Flat: An apiary.

Definitions

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

The early worm is being picked first.

Mixed metaphors

“Use your own toothbrush!” Tom bristled.

Tom Swifties

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

Kiss: What the child gets free, the young man steals, and the old man buys.

Definitions

Ventriloquist: A man who never speaks for himself.

Communication Definitions Speech

Sometimes they bite the farm.

Mixed metaphors

Parking Space: A place occupied by someone already there.

Miscellaneous

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

Definitions

Amateur Athlete: An athlete who is paid in cash, not by check..

Definitions

It's like pulling hen's teeth.

Mixed metaphors

Doctor: A man who suffers from good health.

Definitions Doctors

“I’d better repeat that SOS message,” said Tom remorsefully.

Tom Swifties

“I’m burning aromatic substances,” said Tom, incensed.

Tom Swifties