Author: Anonymous Page 27

Doughnut: Holey food.

Definitions Food/Drink

No two people in a car can agree on which window should be open… and how much.

Autos Things

Antique: Something too old to be anything but too expensive.

Definitions Things

“I need a pencil sharpener,” said Tom bluntly.

Tom Swifties

Never say “Oops” always say “Ah, interesting!”

Communication Mistakes Problems Speech

“If I die, you get everything,” said Tom willingly.

Tom Swifties

Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

“I won’t finish in fifth place,” Tom held forth.

Tom Swifties

“I’d better repeat that SOS message,” said Tom remorsefully.

Tom Swifties

Step up to the plate and pick up the gauntlet.

Mixed metaphors

As the smoke clears at the devastated detention centre, an investigation reveals how officials ignored the warnings that they were sitting on a powder keg.

Mixed metaphors

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

Definitions

A man doesn’t know the value of a woman’s love until he starts paying alimony.

Marriage

“Let’s take a vacation in the south of France,” said Tom nicely.

Tom Swifties

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Communication Language

Group Discussion: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions

Congress: A place where there are too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen – and not enough U.S. Congressmen.

Congress Definitions Government

Insanity: Grounds for divorce in some states; grounds for marriage in all

Definitions Marriage

State-Of-The-Art: Soon-to-be-obsolete.

Definitions

He’d steal flies from a blind spider.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty