Author: Anonymous Page 27

“Where’s my pants?” asked Tom briefly.

Tom Swifties

She grabbed the bull by the horns, and ran with it.

Mixed metaphors

Financial Wizard: A person who can earn money faster than the family can spend it.

Definitions Money

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Character: What you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.

Definitions

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Miscellaneous

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Let's not put all of our cookies in a basket.

Mixed metaphors

Vacuum Cleaner: A sonic broom.

Definitions Things

It sticks out like a sore throat.

Mixed metaphors

Looting: A public shopping spree generously sponsored by local merchants in the wake of a riot.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

Teacher: A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

Children Definitions Education

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

Appearance Body People Women

“I have a BA in social work,” said Tom with a degree of concern.

Tom Swifties

Have no delusions about the past.

Malaprops

He wuz smilin' like a rat eatin onions.

Miscellaneous

The most dangerous killer in the animals of crime.

Malaprops

“I can talk faster than you,” Tom expressed.

Tom Swifties

The less a person knows, the more he wants to tell it.

Fools Intelligence

If you are riding a high horse, there ain’t no way to get down off it gracefully.

Characteristics

I'm traveling incoherent.

Malaprops