Author: Anonymous Page 27

“It’s my maid’s night off,” said Tom helplessly.

Tom Swifties

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Activities Beer Food/Drink

Honeymoon Sandwich: Just lettuce alone, with no dressing.

Definitions Marriage

“I knew the gun wasn’t loaded,” Tom said blankly.

Tom Swifties

Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Definitions

“I used to feed the lions at the zoo,” said Tom offhandedly.

Tom Swifties

A rolling stone catches the worm.

Mixed metaphors

Taking the bull with both feet

Mixed metaphors

“Who is this Tom Swifty character anyway?” asked Tom unselfconsciously.

Tom Swifties

Sociology: Journalism without news.

Definitions

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.

Communication Definitions

Smile: To expose a portion of one’s skeleton as a gesture of goodwill toward a fellow human.

Definitions

“Now I have the tools to chop down that tree,” said Tom with a heavy accent.

Tom Swifties

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Communication Wordplay

It's like pushing a rock upstream.

Mixed metaphors

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents.

Animals Definitions

“I’m going window shopping,” said Tom listlessly.

Tom Swifties

From now on, I’m watching everything you do with a fine-tuned comb.

Mixed metaphors

Alimony: The high cost of leaving.

Definitions Marriage

“Don’t add too much water,” said Tom with great concentration.

Tom Swifties

Among the many remedies that won’t cure a cold, the most common is advice.

Beliefs Health