Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 27
“It’s my maid’s night off,” said Tom helplessly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Anonymous
Activities
Beer
Food/Drink
Fishing
Honeymoon Sandwich: Just lettuce alone, with no dressing.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Honeymoon Sandwich
“I knew the gun wasn’t loaded,” Tom said blankly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Anonymous
Definitions
Abstainer
“I used to feed the lions at the zoo,” said Tom offhandedly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
A rolling stone catches the worm.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Taking the bull with both feet
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“Who is this Tom Swifty character anyway?” asked Tom unselfconsciously.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Sociology: Journalism without news.
Anonymous
Definitions
Journalism
Sociology
Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Freudian Slip
Smile: To expose a portion of one’s skeleton as a gesture of goodwill toward a fellow human.
Anonymous
Definitions
Smile
“Now I have the tools to chop down that tree,” said Tom with a heavy accent.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
I am having an out-of-money experience.
Anonymous
Communication
Wordplay
It's like pushing a rock upstream.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Difficult
Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Electric Eel
“I’m going window shopping,” said Tom listlessly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
From now on, I’m watching everything you do with a fine-tuned comb.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Alimony: The high cost of leaving.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Alimony
“Don’t add too much water,” said Tom with great concentration.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Among the many remedies that won’t cure a cold, the most common is advice.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Health
Advice
Colds
Remedies
Page 27 of 161
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